On the Road with the Vera Bradley Foundation

Clare

2012-02-02T06:00:00.003-05:00

INDIANAPOLIS - In just a few days, there will be a really big football game happening here in Indy. Big people will come and have big parties, and the whole state is welcoming our visitors with big, open arms. What a tremendous opportunity for all of us!

The best part is that the people organizing the big stuff are also focusing on some small stuff. Small like little bitty cancer cells, to be specific.

This is my sweet friend, Clare. She's in the midst of her cancer treatment, but is just as strong and pretty as ever. Clare is one of many cancer patients here in Indiana. One of our group that owes so much to our wonderful doctors. Our researchers. Our donors.

Clare - and the rest of us in this crazy cancer world - are so thankful that the Indianapolis Colts, the NFL, the NY Giants, the New England Patriots and the entire Super Bowl committee have stopped to remember us in the midst of their work. They have decided that they are not too busy to help others.

To me, that defines Super.

Princess

2012-01-31T05:30:00.002-05:00

USA. A long, long time ago in a fish far, far away, there one was a pretty little gene that liked to jump around.

That gene looked liked it was not working, like she wasn't going to be able to offer anyone very much.

But then, in a far-away land (or, as I like to call it; "Minnesota"), a handsome prince ( I like to call him "a group of cancer researchers") decided to see if they could make the beautiful sleeping princess gene wake up.

They did, and she did. They ran to the castle (I call it "fish dissection part of the laboratories"). The beautiful jumping princess gene is actually called the "Sleeping Beauty" - and she might be the one to show us the fingerprint of every tumor's cancer gene. The handsome prince (s) were so happy, they immediately told the town crier to spread the news (I like to call that the "National Institute of Health and the Journal Nature").

This beautiful princess and her heros will work together to find and defeat the horrible villain (I call him "stupid cancer").

They will attack all the paths that the villain has owned until now; block it, squash it, gallantly end that evil.

The good news to all of this is that I am NOT telling you a fairy tale. The heros are real, the beautiful princess is real, and those of us ready to help get a sword and help are also real. (I like to call us "donors to cancer research"). The Sleeping Beauty Gene is back in the news with scientists making even more discoveries about what drives tumor growth - the more we know about what makes the evil villain tick, the greater the chances we'll be able to outsmart it.

And we all lived happily ever after. The End. (Cue the sweeping dramatic music and sunset.)

Football

2012-01-12T12:24:00.000-05:00

INDIANA — We look like we are ready to play football, don’t we? Just kidding. We are actually helping to load up the van for the most amazing initiative; I’m so excited to be a part of this in a small way.

My friend Connie (she’s the sassy one right in the middle of the photo) was the impetus behind an innovative new wave of cancer research at the Tissue Bank at the IU Simon Cancer Center. That research, involving healthy women donating tissue samples, is now about to be celebrated, showcased and launched into the stratosphere by working with Super Bowl XLVI. Both are located in Indianapolis, so it’s just the perfect partnership.

The women who donate tissue for this particular event might find a very special surprise as a thank you – in addition, of course, to the gift of hope!

Indy's Super Cure hopes to collect 700 tissue donations during the weekend leading up to Super Bowl XLVI. The collection will take place January 28 & 29, 2011. To join the interested donor list, please visit komentissuebank.iu.edu.

Diet

2012-01-04T21:23:00.000-05:00

WORLDWIDE - Once again, we are reminded by a new study how important diet can be to the cancer patient. Well, to anyone, really! It’s such a tricky subject, I can’t think of one person I know who hasn’t had a weight issue. And who hasn’t heard about eating healthy? Come on!

I have an oncologist who is a genius. Best in the business, gem among men, etc. But he openly admits that while he does yoga, etc., he does have a few things that he eats and shouldn’t. He does, and he’s the smartest guy I know (which of course is somehow reassuring).

So it’s really just another tip about doing things in moderation to help you be healthier, should you choose to accept it. If not, then please share your most decadent recipes so we can at least enjoy along with you. :)

Christmas

2011-12-21T05:00:00.000-05:00

JACKSONVILLE, FLORIDA – David Garrard, never heard of him. Until this week, of course, and now I know him as “Santa”.

David’s mama died from breast cancer when he was 16. She was a single mom, struggling to raise her son; imagine the impact that has on a child. He could have gone in so many different directions, couldn’t he? I think the easiest route might have been one filled with struggles and heartache. Instead, this young man has become a beacon of hope.

He recently had to take a break from his professional football career due to back surgery. During his medical break, he did something astonishing.

Eleven single mamas with breast cancer (and their children) were his guests for the evening. They were treated to a great dinner out, and then a bit of shopping. All expenses paid, courtesy of David. He spent so much time visiting with the mamas, taking pictures with the kids, hugging and laughing that he completely forgot to eat dinner himself. Can you imagine taking 11 families – families that could really use a helping hand– shopping for Christmas? What joy that must have been.

So I don’t know you, David, but I love you. Because you are exactly what we all need to see – someone who scrapes all the silver lining off of the clouds he finds in his life. Then shares that silver with the people around you. Have a Merry Christmas, sir. And thank you for your example.

Photo courtesy of The Jacksonville Times-Union

Goodbye, Eva

2011-12-19T16:35:00.000-05:00

We are very, very sad to learn of the passing of former Miss Venezuela Eva Ekvall. At age 28, this exceeds the phrase "heartbreaking tragedy" in every conceivable way. I’m certain that her 2-year-old daughter would agree, should she even comprehend what has happened.

Here's more on this amazing woman from a previous blog post.

Bryan

2011-12-08T06:00:00.000-05:00

INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA - This is Bryan. He’s just a regular fella, if your definition of "regular fella" includes "genius" in the description. He’s an oncologist and a researcher, a combination I have found to be life saving. Just speaking personally, of course.

He's a researcher at IU Simon Cancer Center and also works at the Vera Bradley Foundation Breast Cancer Research Laboratories. He’s made a pretty important discovery about neuropathy which could help countless cancer patients. (neu*rop*a*thy – noun. Disease or dysfunction of one or more peripheral nerves. ) Older people and African-Americans seem to be most at risk for this development, which is often terrible and debilitating. Genetic biomarkers, for those of you that might not know, are the hot item in cancer research. HOT. Item. :)

I read this article with particular interest. I sit on the Grants Review Board of the American Cancer Society’s Tumor Biology and Genomics division, so it fascinates me. I liked what it had to say, the potential for the future, the hope that is sandwiched between every line. I do have a favorite part of the article, however, the one that makes me smile the most.

Dr. Schneider is …"the recipient of the 2011 Advanced Clinical Research Award (ACRA) in Breast Cancer."

I like that because Bryan is young. For the record, I know several of his patients personally and they refer to him as "adorable." But I digress. Bryan is young, gifted and already finding things that will help us old cancer patients get by. His potential is of a breathtaking scope; and allows us to dream of the biggest things he can accomplish.

I want my children to know Bryan. To know him as the man that took care of business. That eliminated a big worry from their lives. Go go go, Dr. Schneider. We all love you, are proud of you and are honored to be among the many who help you with our funding.

Photo: Courtesy of Indiana University Melven and Bren Simon Cancer Center

Giuliana

2011-12-06T05:00:00.004-05:00

HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA - I don’t know her. Don’t. I’d love to meet her sometime (after her mastectomy) and just give her a hug and say: "Thanks for putting such a lovely face to this stupid disease. Sorry you had to join the club, honey." But at this juncture, we’ve not met.

She is, of course, Giuliana Rancic, the poised, lovely, glamorous superstar who has breast cancer and is about to go into surgery for said cancer. She and her husband, Bill (don’t know him, either) are on television and I can see why. Look at them for pete’s sake. They are spectacular. Add to their appearance that they are smart, witty and world travelers? Of course they are tv stars .

I find something endlessly amusing about this – NOT that she has cancer; but that I always get calls and emails after a celebrity diagnosis. HEIDI – you should call Giuliana Rancic. She was just diagnosed. Her husband has a house where you used to live. So call her.

We don’t all know each other, we cancer patients. While I think every patient and survivor I meet are spectacular, I can speak for them and say they don’t know movie star cancer patients, either. Nonetheless, however, I would like to say this: we are sorry. Sorry that you have cancer. Sorry you know what it feels like to hear that. So many of us feel for you, want to reach out and hug you, want to make meals for your family, drive you to chemo, hold your hand, read you stories, all those things. We feel like you are part of our family simply because you inhabit our televisions and a bit of our hearts. I’m sorry that we can’t tell you how much we feel the same things you are feeling.

We are here for you, should you need us. An entire fleet of fans who would do just about anything you ask for help while you go through this. I know this for a fact, because many of the people I meet do this all the time for other patients. It’s a good world out there, Giuliana, and we are just happy you are part of it. You are in our thoughts and prayers.

Photo Credit: NBC's Today Show

Daisy

2011-12-01T12:22:00.000-05:00

MILFORD, CONNECTICUT - Girls of every age need to do all they can to take care of their health. Sounds like something we already know, right? Simple! Not quite so much. My friend Mary Ann at the Get In Touch Foundation realized that girls all over the planet are totally unaware of the importance of health matters, up to and including breast health. They are almost completely unaware of how to do a self breast exam, although we constantly tell them to do these exams. Talk about a confusing message!

So Mary Ann Daisy Wheel © to show everyone how to do this easy thing. This simple, friendly and totally non-offensive tool is now in the hands of countless young women. Across the entire world, nonetheless! There are nations that have tricky requirements about what can and can’t be mailed, but her new smartphone app has been downloaded in 50 countries so far. Imagine that reach, what an incredible success!

Just one girl ... imagine if Mary Ann, in her breast cancer journey, was able to reach out to one girl on the other side of the world and give her a fighting chance by finding her disease early enough. Being instrumental in saving the life of another person is the most noble thing, and now Mary Ann can say she’s done that in at least 50 countries.

Add her to your ‘wicked cool hero’ list today, please.

Abstract

2011-11-29T06:00:00.001-05:00

Matisse Mamas

My Dear Piet

ATLANTA, GEORGIA - I was asked to join a group of fabulous women, all breast cancer survivors, in Atlanta. The party was hosted by a company with a breathtaking view of philanthropy: they really just want to make a difference for mommies who have breast cancer. The company is Kids II and they search every year for women who’s charities could use a little financial boost. So far, 40 women have seen their foundations benefit from this incredible generosity. I’ve met the people who run this company, and trust me when I tell you – they are unique in all the world. They actually.care.about.us.

So for one of the evenings at this all-weekend party, they took us to the High Museum of Art, a superfantastico art museum. We had such an amazing time, just walking around all of that beauty. And I’m not just talking about those cancer patients, the art wasn’t bad either. ;)

I realized at one point that we, all of us, were abstract now. At one point in our lives, we were all painted by Rembrandt, Titian, Raffaello Sanzio da Urbin. All of us cancer gals were exactly as we were originally designed; not a scratch on us. At some point; however, cancer reached out its brush full out paint and splattered us. Now we are an abstract version of who we used to be, in every way possible.

But the beauty of that is the fact that we are now a new and different type of art piece. Of course we have scars. Things are totally misaligned, crooked, off center. Entire body parts have been, in most cases, removed, adjusted and stuck right back on like a crazy lego set. As I looked around that museum, I realized that we are STILL ART, however. My fellow patients were still lovely – some so beautiful the rest of us were pea green with envy (me, mostly about their shoes, to be candid). But there you have it.

We are abstract. But as a result, we are beautiful. Worth noticing. Highly valued. As a matter of fact, every day we age we become even more miraculous and worth a pretty high appraisal.

Girlfriends

2011-11-22T06:00:00.013-05:00

MORTON, ILLINOIS - You have girlfriends. We all do. What would you do for your friends, how far would you go to help her if she needed you? What would you do for her if she never asked for anything, but nonetheless had needs?

If she was diagnosed with breast cancer with little ones to care for, a job to attend, a life to lead? What would you do? Would you look at her home and realize that it needs to be spruced, fixed, repaired, redecorated? Would you go to every store in town and do the unthinkable – tell people why you are buying floor tile, paint, etc. (so that your friend has a pretty room to recover from chemo)? Just the discussion of that topic is too hard for some. Would you, could you?

Would you stand by her every moment and encourage her, love her, push her, prod her, prop her up, stare her down, wipe her tears and smack some sense into her when needed? Would you ignore her "I’m just fine" comments and push them to the side while you take charge of being her life assistant when needed? Would you look at her face, smile and tell her she is – IS – lovely; even when she has no hair, no energy, no heart to go on? Would you scour the internet, call everyone you can think of, research until the wee small hours of the morning just to find more about her diagnosis?

Would you put your own life on hold at a moment’s notice to drive her, fetch for her, answer for her, plea for her? Would you drive for hours with your own family to make sure her children have someone to play with and something to do during her surgery?

Would you be able to do all of these things while being strong, fearless, independent, and breathtakingly lovely? I know someone who has. The lady on the left is my beloved sister-in-law. She is flawless, and she is helping one of her best friends on her cancer journey; much the same way she came to my rescue during my journey.

I love you, Kristy. And all the other women out there who are in your role of best girlfriend. Caregiver. Hope provider. Strength giver. We patients could not do it without you.

Photo courtesy of Shelbyphotography.com.

Rearview

2011-11-17T11:51:00.001-05:00

FORT WAYNE, INDIANA - This is the Fort Wayne International Airport in my rearview mirror. I only get to see this a few times a month in October, most of the month my car lives in the airport parking lot. :) Am I happy to see this in my mirror as I drive away? Yes and no.

Yes; because I miss my family. I like being near them, I like hearing their voices live and not on phone messages. I like to sit down with them and watch them as they tell me about their days.

No; because I am afraid that most people see October as some big "call to action" and then when November hits, they are all done with taking action. I don’t like that. Today – at about midnight last night, actually – I got an alarming text telling me a stage four patient in Indiana is doing poorly. Needed prayers, comfort, compassion. I’m pretty sure this patient doesn’t care that the official action month is over, because she still needs some help. Four days ago, I met a woman who had been diagnosed that day and was petrified. Ditto for her and the October thing.

So I’m issuing my own little request to everyone. Pretend October isn’t anything. Pretend that it isn’t the big pink month. Look at the upcoming holiday season and know that there are cancer patients that will need help getting gifts for their children. That they might need help shoveling their driveways. They could use someone to walk their dog when they come home from chemo. That their little kids might like to go to see the newest movie, but mama or daddy is either too sick or too financially strapped to do it. Get the whole family a little movie gift certificate!

And then realize that there are 11 other months that they still have to keep forging on; and your helping hand could make a change in their lives that you never even anticipated. (Then send me an email of what you’ve done – I love love love happy stories!!!)

PS: For holiday ideas, check out the Foundation team's suggestions - Other Ways to Spread Holiday Hope.

Soy

2011-11-15T15:02:00.000-05:00

NATIONWIDE - Oh my goodness, do I get diet tips when I am on the road. Every week, I have at least 5 or 6 emails, chats, etc that invite me to learn about some new fabulous thing that will most certainly rid my body of cancer cells. The good part of this is that I have a) a genius oncologist who is willing to listen to all my questions and b) many of the ‘cure-all’ items being recommended do not boast universal endorsement by professionals. Soy, however, is a recurring theme I’d like to discuss.

IT DOES NOT CAUSE BREAST CANCER, I have been assured by myriad medical experts. Does. Not. However, because of my type of breast cancer, my doctor has recommended I do not eat it. According to him, for those of us who’s cancer really seems to enjoy estrogen, it could cause problems. Some certain parts of soy may exhibit estrogen-like activity, so I just steer clear. I don’t Eat it, Drink it, Consume it at all, so please don’t send me recipes containing it. I have watched so many interactions between a well-meaning tipster trying to convince a breast cancer patient to stop eating this or that and just eat soy; and watched the patient politely smile and try not to wince. For many women and men with breast cancer, it is just fine to have this product. No worries, it might even have a strong health benefit! For others, however, it very well may be walking trouble so we don’t consume it.

I have found that the best way for anyone to dispense advice about food is this way:.

1) Only give nutrition advice when asked. Specifically. About nutrition, and then just stick to the topic. Don’t waver off onto something like exercise with a patient mid-chemo. We don’t want to know how fabulous your pilates or zumba makes your backside look . Please. We are just trying to survive.

2) Don't pretend you are a doctor, unless of course you are a doctor. Always say: "This just is something I found helped ME when I was in chemo or radiation. I have a friend who tried broccoli and it was great for her. You should just ask your onc what he/she thinks might help."

3) We know that by eating things like steak, whipped cream, pudding, etc., we might have made bad choices. We know diet has made a difference, but we also know that those choices didn’t make us eligible to "deserve our breast cancer." Saying something like that to a cancer patient puts you on Santa’s bad list, just fyi.

4) Read before you advise. I don’t mean articles on the web or something you saw in the waiting room magazines while you were getting your tires changed. Read the face of the person to whom you are speaking. Is she wincing? Perhaps you are saying something that she just can’t do. Does she look like she might cry or hit you? If so, immediately compliment her on her shoes. Trust me, this works.

5) We all know that there are some other remote countries offering other diet programs at a glamorous spa-like retreat in a beautiful setting. If we don’t have access to it, please don’t tell us. Much in the same way I am certain that the Cinderella Suite in Disneyworld exists, if I’ll never see it I don’t want to know about it. Thanks, though.

Soy specific, our friends at Livestrong have written a great post about recent discoveries in that area.

Veterans

2011-11-11T12:05:00.001-05:00

WORLDWIDE - “World War I – known at the time as “The Great War” - officially ended when the Treaty of Versailles was signed on June 28, 1919, in the Palace of Versailles outside the town of Versailles, France. However, fighting ceased seven months earlier when an armistice, or temporary cessation of hostilities, between the Allied nations and Germany went into effect on the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month. For that reason, November 11, 1918, is generally regarded as the end of “the war to end all wars.”

11-11-11 – and this is a prayer that all wars will end. Thank you to everyone who has served in the Armed Forces, they have given tastes of freedom to those who so yearn for it.

Drugs

2011-11-08T15:49:00.001-05:00

NATIONWIDE - No, no, this post is not nearly as scandalous as you might think from the title. It’s about cancer drugs, which are (in my opinion) far less trendy than something people might try to score in seedy alleys. Doxorubicin is a breast cancer drug that is short supply, believe it or not. Leukemia and testicular cancer also have certain injectable medications that are getting harder to find as well. I first heard a fellow patient complain about shortages while speaking in the south several months ago.

Sad to say, I kind of dismissed the comment. Well, maybe it was just her local cancer center, you know? Had to be a fluke, some sort of local issue. Then I went to New York to speak; same thing. Then to Kansas; another identical story. By the time someone attending at event in Iowa (she was from Oklahoma) shared the same news, I was in a full state of alarm.

From a USNews article:

“Dr. Richard Schilsky, past president of the American Society of Clinical Oncology, said "this is very serious, particularly the shortage of cancer drugs." Schilsky noted: "Patients are being called everyday by their oncologist being told that they have to delay their treatment because the drug isn't available ... We have had to set priority lists of which patients are going to get treatment, because we don't always have an adequate drug supply. And it varies week-to-week; sometimes day-to-day."

The question as to why this is happening, or how it is even possible, is a subject of raging debate in the world of social media. I’m not here to speculate about the financial repercussions of manufacturers or government intervention, but I do find this topic worth discussion. Please let me know what you think, and if you are experiencing these issues where you are. The more we all learn and share, the better we can all become!

Cancer Drug Shortages Getting Worse FDA Says, USNews

Will Obama's executive order alleviate drug shortages?, NPR

The Bush-Obama Rx Shortages, WSJ

Unique

2011-11-03T06:00:00.000-04:00

HOUSTON, TEXAS - You might not know this, but African-American woman have a higher mortality rate than most other groups. It’s a puzzling and distressing mystery, and one that researchers are struggling to solve. Thankfully, Karen Eubanks Jackson, Founder of Sisters Network Inc., has stepped into the role of support leader. Our friends Hope For Women magazine have introduced us to her in this month’s issue, and we are so thankful for that wonderful article. You can never stop learning, especially when it comes to something as baffling as this topic.

She is an 18-year-breast cancer survivor, and has started her work on the best basis there is —

she just wants to help others. What a delight!

Lunch

2011-10-31T18:42:00.000-04:00

CHICAGO - Here for an event, stopped to grab a bite. Everything is going swell; nice cup of tea and some pasta ... quiet.

Then my waiter says "Hey, nice pink ribbon. Guess this is your big month, huh?" You betcha. Big is one word that might cover it.

A little time passes and he returns. He's obviously quite shaken when he returns. "I'm sorry I was so freaked out before, ma'am. My grandma just started her chemo and we are all still really really worried about this whole thing."

So we talk. I tell him what to expect, how the upcoming radiation will affect her compared to the chemo. What she might need to help give her comfort. Then I write my info on a napkin (I never assume I'll need business cards at a lunch ... I wont make that mistake again!) As I was leaving, he grabbed my hand and said "Thank you. You have no idea how reassuring and hopeful you have been. I'm so glad you decided to stop in here!!!"

Me too. Welcome to the journey you never wanted. Someday, maybe you can give hope and comfort to someone, too. It really does make it all worthwhile.

Mission

2011-10-24T14:23:00.000-04:00

ATHENS, ALABAMA - 48-year cancer survivor. Forty-Eight Year Cancer Survivor. (That deserves to be capitalized, I think, don't you?) I met her while speaking at an event for a Athens/Limestone Hospital in Alabama. They are driven to provide great health care to everyone who needs it in their community. Nobel mission, indeed. My friend pictured above wanted to make sure she had just a moment of my time before I left.

She is in her 90's and her survivor age is the most impressive I've ever heard. 48, come on. When I asked what I could do for her, what did she want to tell me? Her statement took my breath away.

"You," she said, "have something very important to do. You have to tell your story as often as to as many people you can. Don't ever stop."

I told her I would certainly try my best, and gave her a big hug. Just as I was leaving she whispered in my ear:

"You have a big job. But you have a great deal of time to do it in - after all, you've got the whole rest of your life."

So now I'm off, doing my job. For the rest of my life. xoxo

Dottie

2011-10-19T06:00:00.000-04:00

Stacie, Baby Dottie's mama

Sweet Baby Dottie Mae

UNITED KINGDOM - Stacie, please know that there is an army out here for you. We are working every single day to help find a cure. My prayer is that your sweet Dottie will never have to make the choice that you did. RIP, fellow cancer warrior.

Dolly

2011-10-06T06:00:00.002-04:00

CAMP HILL, PENNSYLVANIA - I’ve just finished speaking at Kathies Christmas store (have you ever been to that place? Stunning. I highly recommend. Ok, back to the story…) and Dolly comes over to me. She hugs me – I have to bend way over as she is not 6’ tall and I decided to wear heels. Not my smartest move. She whispers in my ear: "I have fallen in love with you. And since your mama has passed, you can be a part of my family now." Now THAT is the way to greet someone, let me tell you.

We then spent the better part of the next hour visiting, hugging, crying and showing each other photos of our new extended families. Dolly is a survivor, a sweetie and a huge Vera Bradley fan. Her daughters are kind, successful and generous (and now I'll call them sisters).

Dolly is one of the reasons it is worth it for me to do what I do. I meet people who need to know that they aren’t alone. That there is hope, a connection, camaraderie. That there are companies like mine that don’t just slather everything in pink and pretend that it might help – they focus their giving on a specific issue and then just work like crazy to make a change for all of us.

Here is to you, my Dolly. It was nice to meet you, and I hope to see you again next year. I do think, however, that our hearts have known each other for quite a long time. xoxo

Skates!

2011-10-04T17:27:00.000-04:00

FORT WAYNE, INDIANA - It’s a little hard to see, this is a still shot of a video (soon to be posted on the Vera Bradley Foundation Facebook) – but it’s worth sharing with you. This is Carolyn, my dear friend that past posts. So she made her annual trek to home office to deliver what she is contributing this year.

Let me tell you something; she inspires awe in me. I know survivors, and a HUGE number of them. I can count on maybe one hand the number of people who are in the fundraiser/survivor category, though. And of them, I would say maybe 2 or 3 are even in her galaxy. She has taken the disease that touched her and has poured her energy into an annual event that raises money to help others.

She didn’t try to re-invent the wheel, didn’t try to come up with a gimmick or strategy that would have imitated someone else’s idea. She knew what she loved to do – skate. She knew her ample skill set – marketing and nonprofit fundraising. She just sat down and pulled them all together. I’m not saying it’s easy. She works harder and more hours than anyone else I know, but it’s what she knows that makes it so successful. She has friends in one great big family, the world of the ice arena denizens. It’s been 8 years since her first event, and it has grown every year. It did start small, like everyone who does this work. Skate for Hope has now raised more than $300,000 to help fight breast cancer.

But this year – this year, Carolyn gave us a check for $50,000. FIFTY THOUSAND DOLLARS. (worth repeating). One woman. With a big heart, a strong passion and a remarkable husband encouraging her every step of the way. I wanted to tell you again about her. I’ve heard the "I’m just one person and I can’t think of anything I can do to help people" thing too much to let them not see her and know about her.

***One more thing, I don’t have a photo of this, but she was wearing the most adorable black faux-snakeskin peep-toe black stiletto pumps. Just in case you thought she couldn’t get any cooler …***

Bagels

2011-10-01T00:01:00.001-04:00

NATIONWIDE - I don't put things out here for recommendation often, but this is an exception. Panera Bread is making bagels for October that help various breast cancer agencies and foundations (including ours!).

I've had these bagels and let me tell you — they are super yummy!!! I think it's the cranberries that make them just perfect. Get one for yourself and tell me what you think. Come on, you have to eat breakfast anyway! :)

October

2011-09-27T17:37:00.000-04:00

NATIONWIDE - October is upon us. Well, just about anyway. For most of the month, this is what my view looks like at least once a day. I look out of a plane window to my next destination and wonder who I will meet, what stories I will hear and how my life will change because of these encounters.

So this is the view from a plane traveling who knows where. Think of me when you look up into the sky – or better yet, please come find me at one of the events listed on our facebook page. I’d love to say hi to you in person!

Martina

2011-09-20T12:46:00.000-04:00

NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE - To the best of my knowledge, Martina McBride does not have, nor has ever had, breast cancer. I pray that she never does. That being said, however, she gets us. To my heart, she gets us totally. Even if you don’t care for country music (or even western :), please just read these lyrics. "I’m gonna love you through it." Thank you, Martina. For using your incredible power for good.

"I'm gonna love you through it"

- Martina McBride

she dropped the phone and burst into tears
the doctor just conformed her fears
her husband held it and held her tight
cancer don’t discriminate or care if you’re just 38
with three kids who need her in their lives
he said, “i know that you’re afraid and i am, too
but you’ll never be alone, i promise you”

chorus:
when you’re weak, i’ll be strong
when you let go, i’ll hold on
when you need to cry, i swear that i’ll be there to dry your eyes
when you feel lost and scared to death,
like you can’t take one more breath
just take my hand, together we can do this
i’m gonna love you through it.

she made it through the surgery fine
they said they cut her just in time
but they had to take more than they planned
now it’s forced smiles and baggy shirts
to hide what cancer took from her
but she just wants to feel like a woman again
she said, “ i don’t think i can do this anymore”
he took her in his arms and said “that’s what my love is for”

chorus:
and when the road gets too long
…
just take my hand, together we can do it
i’m gonna love you through it.
i’m gonna love you through it.

Stress

2011-09-19T17:38:00.000-04:00

BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS - And then there are times when we read the news and we realize that, in fact, the little stresses in our life are not as bad as we thought just a moment ago. At least when we take the time to put it in perspective with others.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you, little Saoirse. We hope you and your mommy are both well very soon.

Photo: CNN.com

Carolyn

2011-09-13T17:15:00.003-04:00

BIRMINGHAM, ALABAMA - I can’t, in all honesty, think of a Carolyn that I don’t love. I mean that with all sincerity; they are all just wonderful. Let me tell you about my ‘Carolyn’ experience this weekend.

I speak annually to an amazing group of people. They are independent studio owners – their stores are the ones you see all over the world that encourage you to paint your own pottery pieces – and part of the Contemporary Ceramic Studios Association. (You can find a studio near you at ccsaonline.com.) Movie stars, celebrities and politicians have all jumped on the fun bandwagon to try this art form and love it. I myself am hesitant but paint nonetheless. If I could ever just learn to use more than one color….

Carolyn has heard me speak before, and she has been a passionate supporter of the auctions that happen to benefit breast cancer research. Carolyn decided to create a fun, amazingly creative and colorful glass piece for this year’s auction. It is perfect, in my non-professional artist opinion. It is just such a lovely piece, it was an honor to see it. It is an even bigger honor to be a part of the Foundation she chose to benefit. Carolyn was most recently a Regional Account Manager for iLoveToCreate and attended a Bisque Imports’ event. Studio owner, Julya Myers (Amazing Art Studio in Gaithersburg, Maryland) also attended. They were sitting together in a class and Carolyn asked if Julya would teach her / help her do the project since she had never worked with the medium before. Julya gladly obliged.

Sounds like a pretty ordinary story, doesn’t it? Here’s the catch; Carolyn passed away before she could finish her piece. It was the last piece she ever created, and she was never able to see it to completion. She had asked her friend, Chris Denison from Bisque Imports, to pick up where she left off. (He is the resident glass guru.) To finish this piece and get it ready for auction. This auction, for this Foundation.

Hearing this and knowing the backstory, I see it as both a wonderful tale and an amazing metaphor for everyone I meet. I attend events constantly, but the purpose behind them is not for fun, or for play. It is because, to put it bluntly, people are dying. This mission of mine is to do what I can to have less of that. I have a list of people I’ve lost, people I will no longer get to see and be with, and the list is getting longer. Many of them have done just what sweet Carolyn did; start something great, then hand it off like a baton in a race. Thank you, Carolyn, for doing this for our Foundation. For considering us worthy of your incredible efforts. Thank you, Chris, for picking up her baton. For allowing us to be good stewards of those amazingly important dollars. We are raising funds as if our lives depend on it. Because they do.

Risk

2011-09-06T16:43:00.001-04:00

UNITED KINGDOM – A leading scientist in the UK has made what might seem to be a pretty bold statement: "Women with a family history of breast or ovarian cancer should have their ovaries taken out when they are 40." This may seem like something most people would have never considered – BUT – if your genetic code shows you carry a risk, this kind of surgery could cut that risk by as much as half! Amazing.

Of course, the surgical risks and side effects could make anyone tremble. But then again, being told you have cancer could make you pretty jumpy as well. Yes, it’s scary. Yes, it’s a serious surgery. (Of course, talk to your doc about it.) It was mandatory for me to have this surgery when I was 38 years old, and have never regretted it for a moment – but I want you to weigh in.

Is it worth it? Would you consider such an action if you were BRACA1 or 2? And are you just as ready as I am to find a cure? :)

Photo: Science Photo Library

21,000

2011-08-30T06:00:00.001-04:00

KELLS, IRELAND - One of my friends from Ireland sent me a sweet link to a great fundraiser over there. Their National Cancer Helpline provided assistance to more than 20 thousand people last year – a staggering statistic! They offer free nursing services to people across the country and are actively trying to help find ways to educate about and reduce risk for cancer. They raise an impressive amount of money, but offer an even more impressive service of compassion.

No matter where you are on the big pink map, there are always people who are affected. I see it every day, and it always moves me.

Congratulations, my pink sisters in your green isle. Love you and what you are doing, keep up the good work!!!

Socks

2011-08-25T12:07:00.000-04:00

INDIANA - Socks. I kid you not, that was the extent of the request. Socks with a pink ribbon to be specific. Yesterday, I got an email from a lady who wanted a local girls sports team to wear socks with a pink ribbon. A friend of mine was going to purchase said socks, and make sure that the girls had them the entire season. So no cost whatsoever would be assumed by the team or coach.

No possible way, says the coach guy. His basic premise was "I really hate the oversaturation of the pink ribbon and I am sure everyone else on the planet is too, so no way. Period."

Sometimes, we just say and do things without taking a step back. We use our immediate impulses and let our faces snarl without realizing that just one little act might actually be kind of a big thing for someone.

Like the little girl on the team who’s mama died from breast cancer last year - she’s about 10 or so, and it is kind of important to her to wear this pink ribbon on things. Like her little teammate, who’s mama is a breast cancer warrior, too, and is now a passionate advocate for all things helpful to patients. Like the people in this town who have been impacted and might actually like to see these girls showing others that it matters.

Yes, we are probably oversaturated. I don’t think anyone would question that. I think perhaps sometimes, however, we just need to let little girls wear them if they miss their mommies. I wear one every day, because I miss mine. Just a thought.

Walk

2011-08-24T13:25:00.000-04:00

USA. I have so many friends and 'cancer sisters' who are right in the middle of their run/walk/roll Fundraising seasons. I see their posts on all of my social media sites, I get email updates and my phone buzzes all the time telling me I have yet another photo of yet another sweet friend in pink running shoes.

And I.Love.It.

These are men and women who don't want to sit still any longer and wait for change. I just posted recently that I applaud those who do something - anything - to ensure we make a better future.

Yes, I know some are vastly more successful than others, but I have to say that I don't care. The pics from the big city walks give my just as much joy and hope as the small town walks that had a grand total of 20 people doing the event.Including the dogs. :)

Warnings

2011-08-19T09:00:00.001-04:00

USA - This, my friends, is a piece of paper I get once a month. It has big, scary words and I'm convinced that I am one of perhaps only 3 people that have actually read it in its entirety.

It's the warning label from my cancer meds; I get a refill once a month. I used to be averse to looking at it - I just didn't want to know what might be coming down the road.

When some weird things started happening to me, I decided I should take a peek just to see if they might possibly be normal side effects. Sure enough, there they were. Heart issues, bone pain, weight fluctuations - you name it, all there. Drat!

Now I have a decidedly different view on these warnings. I pop it open, see what's new and then breathe a sigh of relief on the ones I don't have. Phew!

I know that sounds silly to some of you, but hey, I take what I can get in the world of optimism. What else am I supposed to do with something that has more 'Oooh you'd better watch out, sister' kind of warnings then the TSA signs in the airports? :)

Devon

2011-08-18T12:30:00.003-04:00

PASADENA, CALIFORNIA - I’m sorry, my wonderful Devon. Sorry that you and your sweet family are on this journey. You have creative vision, a tender heart and an unquenchable spirit of generosity; in short, you are the most rare of gems. Every word you say, that you write, that you express; they are all words with more meaning and thought behind them than anyone else I’ve ever met.

When we met, we were preparing to ride on a float for a parade. Two strangers - connected by social media, breast cancer and a superfantastic handbag company. When I left Pasadena, I knew that you and your family would always be a part of my heart. You convinced me that surgical scars are not who we are, but just a small part of what we have done. In your mind, scars are beauty marks that indicate life, survival, power through grace.

You, dear Devon, are the embodiment of power through grace. Those tumors are just another blip you will chalk up to survival, my friend. I hate cancer. I hate that you have this happening right now. But I love you, and your whole family. Happy birthday, my Devon. My prayer is that I get to say happy birthday to you about 40 or 50 more times. xoxo

Photo credit: Catherine Money

Help

2011-08-12T16:18:00.000-04:00

WORLDWIDE – I was visiting a friend's breast cancer foundation facebook site yesterday; she has asked me to critique it from the rare perspective of both patient and professional. The review was great; I love what she is putting out there, how she’s saying it, and the number of people already interested in helping her cause. I was immediately drawn to the comments, most of which were from people desperate to help in any capacity.

"Please tell me what we can do to help," "please connect me with someone who needs a ride to treatment," "please let me know if someone needs my services for no cost," etc. I see people who are quite focused on their donations ("I only want mine to go to research, period." "I only want to help women who need money for travel expenses." Things like that.) and I also see quite the opposite. ("I don’t even know what to do or how to help, but my best friend was just diagnosed, and now I’m totally on fire for this cause.")

And I like all of these types of donors. Love, actually.

There are so many resources out there, and it seems to be overwhelming for most people when they want to dip their toes in the "giving pool." "Whom do I turn to if I just want to make sure patients get a ride to treatments?" "Whom should I send a check for wig donations?" I actually talked on the phone for an hour after my speaking engagement yesterday with a woman who had no idea where to turn for assistance, and that was followed that evening with someone who wanted to donate money for services.

We are all out there, a big group of people who want to help. We are also out there, a big group of people in need of that help. Connecting the two seems to be an intricate dance! My suggestion is based solely on reputation. ONLY ONLY ONLY donate to a group that you know funnels the dollars where you want them to go. That includes products – don’t just shell out cash for a pink ribbon product unless the tag tells you what you need to know. Does it tell you where the money is going? If not, move on and buy something else. Go to local cancer centers and hospitals – whether you are a patient or donor, they can give you a list of all local service providers that will dispense help and help you to dispense help on your own.

Here’s the key, in my humble opinion. DO SOMETHING. JUST DO. Get out there and find your cause, your passion, a spot for your commitment. Nothing is too small, nothing will go unnoticed. Foundations, service providers, etc. don’t just need cash, you know. We need donations of things like hotel points, airline miles, rental car points, volunteer time, you name it! (Seriously, we do. Email me at hfloyd@verabradley.com if you want to donate anything listed (or something else) to the Foundation.)

Jump on board and give us a hand, we fundraisers. Jump on board and give us a hand, we patients. Just jump. :)

Caregiving

2011-08-09T13:49:00.002-04:00

TUPELO, MISSISSIPPI - Genie Alice is quite the gal. Quite. I read her story recently and wanted to make sure she got a spot on our blog. We are open to many types of discussions here on this little blog, not just breast cancer. This time I want to talk about Genie Alice.

A few months after marrying her true love, Nate, he started getting headaches, vision problems and neck pain. Stupid cancer. Grrrrr. But Nate is working hard for his recovery and sounds like he is quite a fighter. Brain surgery, rehab, you name it, and he’s overcome the challenges. Right by his side the whole time was Genie Alice. She says she just wants to "encourage others."

Well, my dear, you have encouraged me. I hope that you can be a beacon of light to those who find themselves in situations that are "different than our dreams" but still willing to keep going. Nate is blessed to have you; and we are so thankful you were willing to share your story with my friends at MD Anderson.

Tattoo

2011-08-04T16:42:00.001-04:00

BIRMINGHAM, ALABAMA - So many people have tattoos. I've never given them much thought, most of the men in my family are in the military, so I've seen them forever. One guy I met has a little replica of Adam/God from Michelangelo, and I found that to be super fantastic. One lady in chemo had a butterfly on her head - she said if people were going to stare, she wanted to give 'em something good to peek at. Heh.

My sweetie friend Julia found this cartoon and sent it my way, and it has made me laugh for two days straight so far. I like that people throughout the ages have utilized body art as a way to display pride, memory or status. I don't know how many people are aware that the lady next to you in line at the grocery store might have a tat of her own - and in a fairly intimate place. So for our little education journey today, please feel free to research "radiation tattoo." They might not be barbed wire on a sculpted arm, but I'm fairly certain that my fellow cancer patients are pretty proud that we made it through the tattoo process. And all that followed as well. :)

Cartoon courtesy of xkcd

Personal (a)

2011-08-02T16:26:00.002-04:00

INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA - I meet cancer researchers, cancer patients, cancer research donors, cancer clinicians ... well, you get the point. Lots of people in the world of oncology, and all the time. I have found that two groups routinely say similar things about one another - the donors and the researchers. They both want to know about the people behind the check or inside the lab. It seems that many middle layers see them both, but rarely do researchers meet the donors. Particularly the donors who give amounts that aren't equivalent to the average car, for example.

What I've heard quite a bit is what the people are like. Are they funny, those researchers, or just serious and staring into test tubes all the time? Do they talk to each other or work alone? Do they dress perfectly like on TV?

I wanted to help shed a little light. The first blog for this is focused on the researchers. A little behind the scenes. And of course, since it's from my camera, we are choosing to look at the footwear choices of these brilliant people. You also get to see their refrigerator and the cartoons they have taped up around the place. Researchers are wonderful, and you will love to get a peek into their world.

Next up - the nationwide cancer donor. :)

Shoes

2011-07-28T06:00:00.009-04:00

INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA - I can tell you the EXACT day that I started to care about footwear. And location, if you care.

First, you should know that I never cared much before that. I mean, I've loved looking at pretty shoes since I was little (by that I mean young, I'm kind of tall), but never realized what an important part they play in the crazy world of self-esteem.

My blog featured a little series titled "In her shoes" for the same reason I now love great kicks; very few women like the way they look. Complimenting one's choice of footwear is always safe and reliable.

When I was in chemo, and as recently as this February (when I had my mastectomy), people were frequently looking me up and down, and that was disconcerting.

Oh, you can hardly tell that's a wig? (Really, just by virtue of the fact that you've said that means you can tell. Thanks ever so.)

Oh, you can hardly tell you had surgery. Are you done, or are you going to have implants? (Ok, yes I opted for implants. And I'm actually all done. Again, by you asking I clearly didn't go with a satisfactory increase. Geesh.)

My defense mechanism? Shoes. If you've got some sweet foot candy going on, nobody ever looks at your ... well, anything really. It suddenly goes from a potential discussion of scar tissue, scarf tying or the pros and cons of silicone to something infinitely more yummy.

The quintessential patent-leather-ankle-tie-cork-wedge. Sky high and built for subterfuge. Here's to distractions, and the cancer patient's art of the ruse.

Cost

2011-07-26T10:32:00.001-04:00

USA – We could talk for hours – days, really – about medical care across the world. Debate it, hash it out, maybe even come to an agreement. What most people fail to realize is that the cost of "health care" that receives the most focus is the immediate need. For cancer patients, that involves things like chemotherapy, radiation therapy, surgery, etc.

There’s an interesting turn of phrase that was being discussed in my cancer center last week and I’d like to share it with you. The official term is "continuing care." The ladies in the chairs across from me called it "life." :) They didn’t have any handy-dandy charts or graphs, but they had bank statements and knowledge. They all had great insurance (thank heavens!) so what they were discussing were the little bills (their words, not mine) that drained their accounts. It’s the ongoing, everyday costs of cancer that people neither know about nor discuss openly. We just joke about it in the waiting room then clam up when the nurses walk in.

… Cancer types with longer survival, such as female breast, have a higher percentage of expenditures for patients in the continuing phase of care. So what that means is, in reality, very good. You get to live longer than other cancer patients. The bad news is that you’d better be hoping for a money tree in the backyard. Ha! Government studies have revealed that it costs 3.2% MORE to live after you have had cancer than when you actually go through treatment.

This isn’t a complaint, please know. I love my doctor and I’ve been blessed with great insurance at my job. I only wrote this for the ladies at the cancer center this week. They said "Why doesn’t someone write about this, tell people, just for informational purposes?" So I’m writing it, girls. I don’t have any solutions in mind, but I want you to know that I’m trying. Stay well, my sassy cancer center friends. xoxo

Editor's Note:
Look what just came through to my Inbox "GiveForward Helps You Crowd-Fund Medical Expenses"!

Infusion

2011-07-21T06:00:00.001-04:00

FORT WAYNE, INDIANA - I have friends in myriad industries, all forms of employment across the world. It’s funny that one word can mean something so different to so many. Let’s use "infusion" as today’s example.

My chef friend facebook messaged me a "must try" recipe of a chicken with a lemon-basil infusion. Doesn’t that just sound yummy-licious? Yea, I thought so too, until I actually looked a the recipe. Single chef friends with no children apparently have hours to spend massaging poultry and hand-dicing vegetables. Not gonna happen. Next example, please?

Another dear one of mine is a "textile specialist." She tells me that in her world, the word infusion is always used with color as a prefix. Always. "You can use components to provide a color infusion to your environmental pallet." Seriously, that’s the kind of sentences she uses when we are just having a regular conversation. Imagine how she must ramp it up to speak with people who actually have a clue what she is sayinG ... next example?

My infusion world involves people in little chairs with nurses hovering like protective mommy eagles, always there and quietly peeking down to see if we are all ok. Infusion is the word that the cancer community has seen fit to use a replacement for the word "chemo room." Infusion Center – there, now doesn’t that sound a great deal more relaxing and peaceful? Ahhhhh, nice. Maybe not so much, actually. It’s the best it can be, though. It’s better than it was just five years ago, this world of infusion. More hopeful, more positive, more happy endings. Infusion: your new word for today. :)

12

2011-07-19T06:00:00.001-04:00

WARSAW, INDIANA - Because he was only 12 years old, it makes me mad. Because it doesn't matter if the doctor says "brain" or "breast" or "cervical" or "liver" - if the word "cancer" follows, it makes me mad.

That this disease in its myriad forms feels permitted to touch children, and take them from adoring families, it makes me mad. I don't want any more families to be mad, either. I will always be mad at you, evil cancer.

N

2011-07-14T06:00:00.001-04:00

COLUMBUS, OHIO - If you saw her walking down the street, you would have NO IDEA that this little peanut could flip upside down and fly all around - all while on skates. You would say to yourself "Oh, what a sweet mommmy/daughter they are. Darling." And you would have no idea about her magic.

Or her mama's magic, and that's the big one. This little Miss N has a pretty remarkable mommy, and it's all tied to little Miss N. See, her mommy was told that she would probably never have children after her bout with breast cancer as a young woman. So N was a gift, a blessing. But what her mommy decided to do was a blessing to all of us.

She used her considerable talent as a skater, networker and most importantly, a fundraiser - to help all breast cancer patients. She funds research. Research that happens in a few hospitals, in a few states and with a few researchers. She is a wonder to behold. A true force of nature, the most passionate fundraiser I have ever been blessed to know. Every year she puts on a remarkable show called Skate for Hope and it is breathtaking. She handles hundreds of big-time Olympic stars, volunteers, teeny tiny skaters, requests, tantrums, tears, flight delays, costume changes and even flowers. She does it all for a good reason, and we all get to reap the benefits.

She does it so her darling little Miss N never has to worry about having the same disease as her mama. I love you, Carolyn, and your passionate heart. Thank you for helping all of us, by helping N.

xoxo

Betty

2011-07-12T13:00:00.000-04:00

PALM DESERT, CALIFORNIA - This is not the obligatory memoriam for Mrs. Ford that you might suspect. They are all over cyberspace, you’ll be able to find 50 thousand today if you look around. Mine is one of fear, intimidation.

Here’s why; Betty scared me. I saw her when I was young, on television. She stirred emotion from everyone I knew, on all sides of the political spectrum, both sexes and all nationalities. Look at that photo, does she look like someone that would intimidate anyone? No, but at the time, when I was just a little girl (little being figurative, of course, I have always been ridiculously tall :) she was intimidating.

She scared me because she said EXACTLY what she was thinking. Feeling. Suffering. Put it right out there, black and white and hard-stamped. Here’s the situation of the day, she basically said, and here’s how I’m going to try to tackle it. To the whole world! Blatant honesty, bold and brash! Unheard of.

I was the girl who’s mom whispered "cancer" on the phone when she told me she was sick (I had been in college all of two weeks when she called to tell me). She couldn’t even say the words "breast cancer" even though it was just the two of us. Betty said the words, though, years before. And still, some people considered it a shameful situation that required whispering. Now my mom was brave, don’t misunderstand me. She was a rock, and a woman that has been unmatched in the universe, as far as I’m concerned. But, she found that saying "breast cancer" might be unladylike, and my mama was a lady with every fiber of her being.

Betty didn’t care about ladylike, or at least not when courage was being discussed. Take your fight public, she encouraged us with her actions, just get out there and tell your story. The whole of it, the entirety, the good, bad, funny, sad, just say it.

So I do, Betty, in small part due to you. And I do, mama, in very large part due to wonderful you. Struggling to be open and candid, but still managing to cross my legs at the ankles because I am a lady. But I still say "breast cancer" out loud. And often.

Alex

2011-07-07T06:00:00.001-04:00

WARSAW, INDIANA - She was 10 years old when I picked her up early from school that day, and she had no idea why. She jumped in the car and said "Where are we going, mama?" and smiled with her whole face. Nowhere, honey, I just have something to tell you. And it was the something I never wanted to tell her. In the long list of things I've had to tell her that are difficult, that I can't explain, that I hate hearing come out of my mouth, this one is really high up on that list.

I told her I had cancer. She was little, but she knew full well what that meant. She didn't have a grandma because of cancer; we did all of those walks, those runs, those activities to help put a stop to it. But we didn't stop it before I had to tell her those words. How do you explain to a 5th grader that we might be ok, including the baby inside me? How do you tell a 5th grader who's eyes just say "Don't leave me, mama!" but her shaky little voice says "What do we do now?"

She beat you, cancer. Even though she didn't have it herself, like anyone in a family that has this disease, she fought it just as much. She came through it as she always does - like a shining star. She has spoken at events to keep fighting you, she has been to cancer centers across this whole country and isn't afraid to hug every single patient she sees. She turns 17 today, and I am ferociously proud of her. And will be for as long as I get to live on this earth - and even beyond that. Happy birthday, my angel.

Daughters

2011-07-05T16:50:00.003-04:00

USA - It's National Daughters Week, did you know that? For those of us that have these little flowers in our lives, this is a moment to stop and enjoy them. So here's to you; not necessarily in order of importance or preference. :)

Gift. Precious. Sturdy. Strong. Confusion. Independent. Soft. Gentle. Ferocious. Impertinent. Caring. Everlasting. Heart. Song. Smile. Tears. Frill. Make-up. Sporty. Tall. Short. Round. Thin. Blonde. Redhead. Brunette. Bald. Calm. Angry. Sweet. Sisters. Mamas. Sassy. Brilliant. Wonderful. Fiery. Song. Literary. Amazing. Daughters.

Surviving

2011-07-05T06:00:00.000-04:00

OHIO - I was sitting at a dinner table with a handful of people; thingswere going great. Fun conversation, wonderful company, awesome food.

Then one person says "You know, I HATE being called a survivor. Who made up that phrase, anyway? Someone who never had cancer, I'll bet!"

We were all silent for a moment. We were all either patients or physicians, and we all just looked at her. Then, it started ...

"Me too!" "Gosh, that makes me so mad!" "Why do they think we consider ourselves done? Don't they know we still deal with it every day?"

The outpouring was impressive - I think we all just assumed we were theonly ones who thought that way, the only one who had to take meds daily, who have to wrap our arms to stop the endless swelling, the only one who knows that pain medicine is useless against bone pain. But there we were,all coming to the same realization at once.

Just because we had it once, be it 5 years, 5 months or 5 weeks ago - some of us aren't finished. We still have it hanging around and we wake up to do battle every morning.

Here's to my fellow warriors. Battle on, friends!

George

2011-06-29T06:00:00.001-04:00

INDIANAPOLIS - This kind of says it all. I am here, as is my son, because this wonderful man made this wonderful decision. God Bless you, George Sledge.

Groups

2011-06-28T10:38:00.003-04:00

I'm asked to speak at different gatherings all the time. Sizes, demographics, location; all varied. This past weekend, there were more than five thousand people.

The common thread? No matter if its a church with 11 people, a business convention, a huge stadium, after every time, I always hear the same thing ...

"I've been diagnosed. I'm scared. What can/should I do/say/think/feel?"

Until I stand before a group this size and never hear the word "cancer," I'll keep going. And fighting. And praying. And hoping. And loving. All of you.

Ingredients

2011-06-23T09:00:00.001-04:00

I was asked yesterday if an event was "even possible, since we don't think we have a great story to inspire people." The town I was in was quite small, and they thought their attendance, motivation and subsequent contribution would be too small to matter.

Size doesn't count when it comes to giving, when it comes to love. Even the littlest of people can make an impact, if not through dollars, then through impression. I was once at an event where a little girl gave me 12 cents "for all the sick ladies I talked about." It was in a shoe store on the East coast, and I'll never forget her face. Of course we have donors that are so big, her change seems to be a drop in the bucket. But, she was 5 years old and sad about the sick ladies, so just imagine what that compassion might lead her to later in life!

My little one wrote down the "Saturday pancake" recipe that we always make. She never once questioned whether she was able to cook, whether people would find them good enough, whether it was proper. Now, 8 years of pancake-making under her belt, she wanted to make sure she wrote it down for other people. Because someone might be scared to try, and this would help, she said.

Just try!

Standing

2011-06-21T08:00:00.001-04:00

CALIFORNIA - Laura Ziskin took a stand, and showed many others how to do the same. She was a big-time Hollywood producer for movies like "Spider-man," "Pretty Woman" and "As Good As It Gets," and has myriad more credits to her name. She’s won awards and has had enormous influence in the movie industry.

Interestingly, however, I never even knew her as anyone but the movie-cancer lady. She created Stand Up to Cancer a few years ago while fighting her own breast cancer. There are so many of us who do little things here and there. Speak at events, throw parties, you name it – but no one else made three television networks stop everything, bring out stars and talk about cancer for a few hours.

She was crystal clear about her passion - 100 % of donations goes to collaborative research. They are making "scientific dream teams" that are changing lives right now. It’s unusual, don’t you think, that someone can make such a profound impact with her career and her passion? Thank you, Laura, for making this journey with us. And for fighting with us. And for fighting for us. And for that cool hat in the Kentucky Derby scene in Pretty Woman. Your drive and energy will never be replaced.

Arlene & Jessie

2011-06-17T09:34:00.003-04:00

GRAND RAPIDS - Arlene and Jessie. I put their names on this blog post for the same reason their daughter/granddaughter mentions it on this page - because they matter, still. Because the loss of these woman inspired Jo-Anne and Caitlin to do something that might make a difference. Because of their fight with breast cancer their loss caused absolute anguish for her children, grandchildren and her friends. And because around the world, there are a few rare corporations that realize you can do something good for society that is also good for business.

Arlene’s daughter is Jo-Anne, Jessie's granddaughter is Caitlin. They work for a company that makes trash carts. Think about that for a moment; trash carts. While now you might know that fabulous pink cart that makes a splashy statement for your recycling, a few years ago no one would have made that connection. Jo-Anne made a simple suggestion at a company meeting - she works for an employer that "encourages its employees to think creatively and be entrepreneurial." She suggested a simple donation of every cart to the American Cancer Society, and "make ‘em pink."

Her reasons were personal, of course, but she saw a bigger image - one of the world needed to do something good for everyone. And it has caught on like wildfire, let me tell you. Jo-Anne’s tribute to her mama has put pink carts on sidewalks all over the United States and parts of Canada. Caitlin is the social media guru who brought it all to the attention of the rest of us, and so many have been touched. Caitlin said that they never expected the breast cancer community to rise around them and embrace them this much – they are just floored by the responses. I’m not at all surprised about the outpouring of emotion shown when people purchase these items and tell their stories. Not surprised one bit; my inspiration was named Roberta. I’ve not done anything nearly as grand or sweeping as Jo-Anne and Caitlin, but my mama mattered too. Our mutual love of our mothers keep driving us daily! Thank you, Jo-Anne, and Cascade Cart Solutions. You are so wonderful to help all of us survivors kick cancer to the curb!

Katie

2011-06-13T08:58:00.001-04:00

UNITED KINGDOM - Katie is pretty, that’s for sure. She is a model, after all. She’s also a grad student at the University of Reading. She keeps a blog, but that’s hardly a unique thing for anyone nowadays. Hers is a fairly unique one, however.

She’s decided to record and blog her cancer journey. At 21, life big and looming - a promising future, and now breast cancer. She’s putting it all out there, her testing, her diagnosis, her treatment plan and now her chemo.

Worth checking out - Katie.

Incredible

2011-06-07T06:00:00.006-04:00

Tami is a fellow cancer survivor who recently contacted the Vera Bradley Foundation for Breast Cancer to introduce herself to us, and to say hello. We had been aware of her on twitter for quite some time, it’s always nice to put a face with an internet name!

Tami has written a book and writes her own blog as well.

Her story is, sadly, one that I’ve heard so many, many times as I travel … she had crossed her five-year ‘all clear’ mark, then was diagnosed with a recurrence. She, of course, was given a pretty grim survival rate statistic and decided that she would basically ignore those odds. To quote Tami, “Who was she to tell me how long I have to live?” and is now three years out from that recurrence. Take that, cancer!

She is passionate about a few key things – namely, finding a cure for metastatic breast cancer. The other is connecting with all sorts of cancer groups, for all sorts of cancer. She’s out there now, and would love to connect with you … share your story with Tami!

Selfless

2011-06-02T06:00:00.001-04:00

WINONA LAKE, INDIANA - Tracey Ann Yeager was an officer in the U.S. Navy, and on Memorial Day, there was a 5K run in her honor. Not because of the years of her incredible service to and for her country, but because she was selfless. Totally selfless. She lost her fight with breast cancer, but even in her final days, she was selfless. She was thinking about others, and I can tell you that from first-hand experience; I spoke with her just days before she passed from us. Selfless. She was a mommy, wife, runner, pilot, inspiration, friend and a model of faith. Selfless.

It’s an interesting thing, what selfless people do. I’ve learned that they inspire more than any other kind of person, and in big ways. Tracey inspired a young man (seriously young, 17 years young) to do something big, and selfless, in her memory. People going through, living with, and survivors of cancer are uniquely hit financially. We might be here, appearing to be healthy and strong; but many cancer patients are in total financial ruin. Any and all savings are completely obliterated by covering the myriad of unforeseen costs of cancer – but that’s a bigger post for another time. Nate, our 17-year-old hero, knew about these burdens because of Tracey’s journey and decided to help. Please keep in mind that he is 17 years old. Selfless.

Kosciusko County Cancer Care Fund this weekend grew by more than $20,000 because of Nate’s 5K ‘Race for Trace.' Think of how many families will benefit from this huge act of generosity, how many mommies and daddies might not have to go through quite as many sleepless nights because they don’t know how they will get gas money to go to the next treatment. Our selfless, courageous Tracey inspired our selfless, courageous Nate. I am just sitting back to watch all the good that will spill over into this community from their big, big hearts. Selfless.

Memorial

2011-05-30T06:00:00.001-04:00

USA - They died wearing uniforms; I live wearing vibrant, sassy clothes. They died in remote locations; I live in my snug America. They died defending freedoms; I utilize freedom every second. They died away from their loved ones; I get to kiss mine every night. Thank you, U.S. Armed Forces, for what you've given me.

Teacher

2011-05-20T17:13:00.006-04:00

FORT WAYNE URBAN LEAGUE, INDIANA - “Teacher” is what one little peanut called her. I’d not met her before, this cancer warrior, but was asked if I would like to go hang pink ribbons with some children who had raised funds in honor of their instructor at the FW Urban League.

After I met her (yep, true to form, we hugged and cried within about 2 seconds of meeting each other. Life is good.) I got her message. You know, when you meet someone there is always something they want to make sure you understand before you part – that’s "their message." In my line of work, I meet so many cancer patients and their messages are typically tied to treatment issues, early detection, equality in healthcare, etc. But not this lady, her message was clear, firm and decidedly not what I usually hear.

Hers was this: “THESE KIDS ARE GREAT." Period. She kept saying it over and over, how hard they work, how much love they show, how gentle they can be, how they are rarely acknowledged for the kindness they have within them. Well, this is for you, you little sweeties. This is a big thank you from one lady who was sick, just like your teacher. Thank you from all of us for working hard to raise money to help other sick ladies. Thank you for knowing that if you think about taking care of someone else, it helps your heart, too. Thank you for your hugs yesterday. Thank you for knowing that the future can be bright for all of us.

Color

2011-05-18T09:57:00.004-04:00

FORT WAYNE, INDIANA - I work with a lovely gal whose desk is perpetually awash with color. At the moment, her cubicle is festooned with banners, hanging lanterns and streamers, but that’s because she just celebrated her birthday. BUT – take a peek at what she has just hanging around on a daily basis. Color! Lots of it!

My first thought when I saw all of these ribbons was "how apropos." (Ok, that was my second thought. My first was "oooohhh pretty, can I touch them as if I am a 4-year-old with an attention spam problem?" But I digress …) The reason her color is so appropriate is that she lends all of us here at the Foundation a bit of color all the time.

The entire Vera Bradley Product Development team, of which she is a part, create all of those wonderful products that benefit us in so many ways. In addition to the work they do all year, a large number of the team also participates in our annual Classic event by doing volunteer work or getting out there and playing on a team.

Thank you, my wonderful PD team. I love your colorful selves!

Needy

2011-05-12T09:00:00.001-04:00

WORLDWIDE - What to get, what to do, how to act, when to deliver, how to ask ... So many questions arise when you want to help someone through a crisis, medical or otherwise.

There was a wonderful article posted recently that really helps address many of those questions with some great answers. Love these tips!!!

Stats

2011-05-11T08:20:00.006-04:00

INDIANAPOLIS - I had an interesting conversation with a fellow survivor recently. She wanted to know if I was aware of statistics about cancer and divorce, cancer and discrimination, cancer and (fill in the blank). I told her that, indeed, I was very well aware of these stats based entirely upon my own interactions with other patients.

I've known about them for years, actually; it's a quiet little rumbling conversation that no one really wants to bring to the open. I've been asked more than once: What do you think about this?

It's a percentage, that's how I look at it. Certainly, there are times when things will go wrong. Devastating, disheartening, discouraging. There seems to be a common thread with those who have come out on the other side, however.

We just survive. Find another reason to get up and keep fighting. I'll cry with you when you need it, pray with and for you always, and I'm always quite happy to celebrate the victories as well. Chin up, survivors. Rally around each other so that we can ignore the stats. :)

Image: Courtesy of ImageNation

One

2011-05-04T09:26:00.003-04:00

CHARLOTTE, NORTH CAROLINA - After speaking for a few years, I've begun to wonder if I am having any impact at all. It doesn't happen often, this concern of mine; usually once I've been back on the road I hear from enough people that I see the worth and realize that we need to continue.

Quite recently that old concern paid me a visit again. And then I was given my answer; in a way I rarely receive. After I was done sharing my story, I walked to the back of the room. A woman stopped me just as I was about half way to the back. She was weeping.

"My doctor just told me the exact.same.thing. that you were told, Heidi." I was stunned by this. There we were, surround by hundreds of people and she was so open and candid about her most personal and frightening moment. I cried with her, we hugged, and I asked her to call me. Email me. Text me; whatever I could do to lend support during this.

Every single time I talk to people, I have the same hope; that, even though I am still nervous to go up to the microphone, even though I am self-conscious about myself, I hope that just one person can hear something of benefit. That one part of the message can be useful, hopeful, interesting.

So, I met my One just this past weekend. Batteries fully charged, I am heading to my next event prepared to meet my next One. Until there is no more need to worry about anyOne.

Beauty

2011-04-29T08:52:00.002-04:00

ENGLAND - Today was a brilliant and wonderful reminder of things like love and joy. And, a gentle display of how we should embrace our natural selves; I just watched a beautiful bride and her smiling groom. She's the first one I've seen in years who opted to forego the tanning beds before her big day. Healthy, stunning and natural. Thank you, Princess Kate, for showing little girls how they should appear - Just elegantly themselves.

(Photo: REUTERS/Kai Pfaffenbach)

Fitness

2011-04-26T06:00:00.001-04:00

There are few things more motivating that a chemo patient showing you that SHE is exercising regularly, so we should be, too. And PLEASE! Who looks this cute without hair and in workout clothes? Goodness, she is an inspiration!!!

Kids

2011-04-21T10:49:00.008-04:00

GOSHEN, INDIANA - You know how little kids are, right? Just rambunctious bundles, always movin' and groovin' to their own beat. Today, I met 71 of them, each one doing a selfless act.

Parkside Elementary in this little town had a teacher who got sick, you see. She had breast cancer, and the kiddos wanted to help. So, they raised money, and did even more. They wrote cards, letters, jokes and drew pictures for the entire cancer center.

They walked over this morning, behaving like little angels and handed out these treasures to the patients. Let me tell you how far I made it out before tearing up - the front door. I have been a patient, and I know what it means to get special gifts like this during treatment.

So, here I sit in my car, crying and typing while sharing this story with you. The teacher is doing great, the school is supportive, the kids are darling and an entire cancer center gets a full day of something wholly unusual for them – bundles of hope, joy and laughter.

Thank you, children, for what you have done. I'm not a patient here, but your kindness will reach far beyond the people you see today in this hospital. Many hearts will be touched by this; but the most important hearts touched today are your own. xoxo

Dinner

2011-04-18T20:53:00.002-04:00

COLUMBIA CITY, INDIANA - So I pull up to the Wendy's drive through and order the Apple Pecan Chicken Salad and smile when I'm paying for my meal. The young lady at the window says "Would you like to donate to breast cancer research today? Please?"

Now, how sweet is that. She has no idea who I am or what I do, she just wants to do her part and is clearly happy to do it. What she doesn't know is that just a few days ago I was completely deflated at a Wendys because I WASN'T asked to donate.

No fault but my own; I was at a Wendy's in Colorado - they aren't part of the Northern Indiana Wendy's group who does this collection every year for us!

So, I smile a happy smile, make my donation and breathe a sigh of joy as I realize that for about another month or so, there is a big group of restaurants smiling back at me. And, raising money to find a cure. Thank you, my frosty friends!!!

Seasons

2011-04-14T15:39:00.003-04:00

NATIONWIDE, UNITED STATES - It’s that time of year again – happens every spring. When we used to live in Chicago, my family and I would participate in a springtime cancer walk downtown. Without fail, we would carve out a day, put my mama's name on a little sign we put on our backs, and joined thousands of other people who were equally affected by cancer. Some years I would walk pregnant, some years I pushed a stroller, some years we were all old enough to just walk all by ourselves. It was always a bit tiring, a bit crazy and a huge amount of fun.

It’s a wonderful, bonding experience, these walks/runs that happen nationwide. Worldwide, actually, as I’ve been informed by my online friends overseas. People who have lost loved ones, who have tackled this disease ourselves, who are helping friends go through it. We put ourselves on a little path for one day that makes us feel that we are empowered and able to make a difference. And, we will keep doing so until a cure is found.

So, here’s to all my sisters, brothers, friends and children who are walking, rolling, running, biking and golfing to help all of us with the "survivor" label. Every event that donates to research helps the whole world, and every footstep matters.

Wishes

2011-04-13T08:38:00.002-04:00

WISCONSIN - You read the news and you are mad, confused, scared and often discouraged. Is it just me, or do you agree? Someone sent me this article, and I just had to share; it’s so happy, so positive and wonderful. Yes, there is cancer involved, and a love separated by a soldier at war. Chemotherapy treatments while the loved ones were far, far away. But in the end, there is love, hope and joy. And a lovely pair of red shoes!!!

Send me your happy stories, won’t you? I’d love to start sharing good news with people; I think we could all use a lift!

Photo courtesy of Bliss Bridal Shoes.

Today

2011-04-07T08:29:00.003-04:00

BROOKLYN, NEW YORK - I hope you have a good day today, my friends. I hope it is filled with joy and light and laughter. Even if it isn’t, even if you encounter a struggle or challenge, please know that there are others who face things even worse.

Thinking of you, Nathan, Elisa and little Sadie. I hope you raise enough to relax and enjoy every second you get with one another. And I hope we raise enough money for research so that Sadie never has to hear "cancer" again.

Deadlines

2011-04-05T14:45:00.001-04:00

WASHINGTON, DC - There is a big convention coming soon to DC, and the attendees (the ones I talk to, anyway) are fired up. They are bloggers, the vast majority are survivors and they are all on fire. They have put an aggressive deadline on cancer.

Yes, you read that right. They have given a final notice to an actual disease. Changing tactics on discussions with fundraisers, researchers and even the government about policy decisions. It’s an amazing, aggressive stance. And it’s fantastic.

Pushing for a deadline might seem ridiculous, but I would like to leave you with this thought: Back in 1943, a sense of urgency was put to committee in something called the Manhattan Project. It’s end mission was terrifying, shocking, unbelievable. But it worked. How much passion can we muster to find a way to save lives?

Classic

2011-03-31T17:10:00.006-04:00

FORT WAYNE, INDIANA - They come every year to play tennis, play golf, bid on fun items, laugh at fabulous outfits, and just generally enjoy the beautiful weather and company. You might be surprised to learn that the nation’s largest amateur charity golf and tennis event happens right here in northeast Indiana, but it’s no surprise to this town.

If you have time, if you like to hang out in the sunshine for a fun day that wraps up by saving lives, please consider a trip to Indiana. You get to meet amazing people, and even get special Vera Bradley gifts. Come on, you know you need a little mini-vacation! We’d love to see you!!!

See photos from last year's event!

Winning

2011-03-30T17:13:00.004-04:00

WORLDWIDE - Quite recently, a well-meaning person was quoted as saying that we are "winning" the war on breast cancer. This made bloggers, oncologists and families across the world cringe a little bit. I can’t tell you how many conversations I’ve had with people after that made the airwaves, most of them were with people who were angry. Not upset, not discouraged, but angry.

One friend reminded me gently (well, ok, not TOO gently…) "Well what about you, Heidi? Did you for one minute think that you had won, that you had beat this thing and were out of the woods? Of course not, when your oncologist said ‘remove surgically to test for cancer’ two months ago, you weren’t surprised at all. Went ahead with a complete mastectomy. That’s NOT winning." She’s right.

The collective conscious of cancer survivors is absolutely that of a warrior nation. We know words like finite and planning, and have to think about them all the time. I go to oncology wards across the nation all the time, and we are not a group of people who are neither forgiving nor forgetting of our cancer. I’ve learned that people don’t want to settle for just the following:

Better treatment

More targeted therapies

A cure (really!)

What I’ve heard from the collective at large is that we want prevention. This disease is sinister, and we are no less deliberate in our plotting to destroy it.

I don’t think the statement was meant to be cruel, to be self-serving, or to be crass, I really don’t. I think it was something said in haste from someone who hasn’t been around a cancer patient in quite some time. It made me angry to read, but then I reflected and decided this; what a blessing it must be for her and for everyone. They are the ones who might have had to be in a chemo ward before, but haven’t been so in a long while. We need to not fight amongst ourselves, cancer family. We need to pull together, educate each other and get ourselves into a tight Phalanx formation to win this battle. I.AM.SPARTACUS. :) (well, at least I have gladiator sandals...)

Facebook

2011-03-24T16:17:00.003-04:00

ENGLAND - Little Ted Rice had a rash near his eye. He is only 4 years old, so his dad was worried. He didn’t have a fever, so his dad didn’t want to rush him to the hospital. Instead, he reached out to a friend of his – on facebook. He sent a quick photo, a close up of Little Ted's face. That doctor actually made a diagnosis of acute lymphocyte leukemia – on facebook.

Now this is obviously a rare situation. Few people are blessed enough to be able to have friends who are brilliant doctors with incredible knowledge. Few people use facebook for anything more than a bragging site. This exception, however, might just well become the norm, and soon. I was recently asked to take photos and send them to my own surgeon, several hours away. Had it been the serious situation my doctor had originally imagined, I would have had to immediately get myself down there for more surgery. Within moments of sending the photo, it was discovered that it wasn’t serious and I could wait until the following week’s checkup to make the drive down.

We are in an electronic, world, my friends. Change is happening – on facebook. I have an idea! Why don’t you consider making a life-saving donation today – on facebook. :)

Photo courtesy of Cascade News.

Pictures

2011-03-22T18:06:00.003-04:00

VENEZUELA - Eva is beautiful. By that I mean “as stunning as one woman could possible appear to be” kind of beautiful. She knew it, too. She was Miss Venezuela, and for good reason. After serving in that capacity, she became a TV presenter. Her other title is "breast cancer survivor."

Pictures are worth a thousand words, so this blog is brief. Look at these photos, and get a glimpse into her world. Not the world of sequins and glamour, but one of the road to recovery, strength and self-esteem. Thank you, Miss Ekvall, for being such an amazing spokesperson for so many.

Triangle

2011-03-17T14:52:00.008-04:00

PRINCETON, NEW JERSEY (via Wurttemberg, Germany) - I was going to title this post either “genius” or “hair,” but found both to be too trite. Everybody knows Albert, right? His birthday is tomorrow, March 18. I promise this won’t be boring, but I do want to let you know a few things about this fella that you might not already know. Tidbits, really, but it’s my homage to a humanitarian and storied academic.

He has a cancer center named for him, and was on one the first to be funded by the NCI.

He didn’t like haircuts (well, obviously!) and said “Long hair minimizes the need for barbers."

Was friends with Marie Curie (she shared our desire to rid the world of cancer) and said she was the only person he knew who was uncorrupted by fame.

He won the Nobel Prize, just like his friend Marie.

He produced most of his amazing work in his spare time, after his full-time job in a patent office.

That little triangle symbol above denotes a change, and can apply to mass. (Google: e=mc2 if curious.)

He said "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

Happy birthday, sir. I hope this inspires a few cancer warriors to live their lives today as if everything is a miracle.

Discovery

2011-03-16T12:51:00.003-04:00

TEXAS - "I found it," she told me, "and I'm scared. I've never felt anything like this and although I know the symptoms say it's probably not cancer, I'm still scared.

I've done the research online and talked to my friends, my family, and friends of my family. They all say shush-shush, no worries, things like that. I'm sure its nothing, they tell me, just go get it checked and you'll see. It's nothing, nothing, nothing!

That's what they say, with their words. But I keep looking at them as they talk, and their eyes say something else. Some panic 'oh-my-gosh-i-wont-know-what-to-say-if-she-gets-sick.' Some are planners, and they've already begun the calendar and schedule for cancer center drivers and food delivery in their head as soon as I said 'lump.'"

"So I'm scared," she tells me. Online. Virtually. Miles and miles and miles away, where I can't hold her hand or hand her a book or teach her how to wear a scarf on her head. Sometimes the world seems quite small, but on days like today, it feels like a vast and open planet. And it's a planet full of people who need comfort.

I'm waiting for her email, and I know it will say that the lump was nothing.

Blank

2011-03-10T16:58:00.004-05:00

I like blank cards. I’ve spoken with people who find them, much to my bewilderment, terrifying. Why, they say, on earth would I want a blank card when I can find one that has stuff in it already and I can just write ‘love, me’ at the bottom? It’s all done! Piece of cake!

For that very reason, gentle reader. Because it’s all done, pseudo-complete. It is one less step you have to take, another great way to save time in the day. Someone else, sitting in a card development department, thought about what to say for an anniversary. A birth. A baptism. A birthday. A joke. A divorce! A death. That’s what someone’s job is, to fill them in for you. Piece of cake!

I decided quite recently that I don’t want someone else to complete my cards. To paint on my canvas, so to speak. Sometimes it is really important to be able to say what you really feel, not just for you but for those around you. My health is one of those things. There is a growing movement among cancer patients to say things like “You know, I would really like this procedure, check up, surgery, etc. It would really help me know that things are ok.” Now of course, this is a tricky thing as we all have to navigate insurance and finances when it comes to big things like this, but it matters. The stories I’ve heard from around the world seem to be quite similar lately. People are willing to work harder to take care of themselves, and their families, and their piece of mind. Fight for yourselves, my friends. Get out there and write your own cards. Take a risk and put your honest, real emotions out there and see how it feels. Tell your doctor what you are worried about. Tell your loved ones what you need to say. Because, more often than not, life is not a piece of cake.

Job

2011-03-08T17:39:00.002-05:00

LOCATION: UNKNOWN - I’ve read her posts for years now, found them quite by accident. I’ve shared her words with so many people, but I realize now that I’ve only given her to patients. A few family members of patients, but very few. There are so many more who need to know what she says, and for so many reasons. All those reasons are stated far more eloquently on her blog than I could attempt on this one.

She has a job, like so many others. People walk by her each day and see her in her uniform, watch her doing that which she has chosen as this career. Do they know, do you think, what she is thinking? If it’s 4 pm and she doesn’t flash a big smile at you as she passes in the hall, do you assume that she is grumpy or sullen? How difficult for us to realize what is actually happening.

She just closed the door, you see, in the conference room with that family. She paid witness to an oncologist telling that family to prepare, and prepare as quickly as they can. Hard, mercy yes. As hard as anything, I say this as formerly one of those family members. But do you know as you pass by her and make that snap judgment that this is the third such conversation she has had this week?

Her words are severe, stark, honest and pure. They are beautiful but sad. Clean but difficult. It might be hard to read on a regular basis, but I do suggest that you at least try a post or two, just so you know. She’s an oncology nurse. One of the millions of people who go to work every day and deal with things we don’t know about. So please be patient with everyone you see who doesn’t give you a glowing smile all the time. You have no idea what door they just had to close.

“It is that hope perched so delicately in the souls of patients that guides and humbles and sometimes saves those of us entrusted to care for them.”

Knowledge

2011-03-03T16:42:00.005-05:00

FORT WAYNE, INDIANA - You don’t know everything. Just keep that in mind about … well, about almost everything! No matter how experienced you think you are, no matter how well-versed or studious, someone can always teach you something valuable.

I went into my mastectomy two weeks ago with about as much information as the average layperson could acquire; after all, the world now has Wikipedia so knowledge is just a click away! (Just kidding, go to your doctor with medical questions. Period.) I’ve been speaking about breast cancer for five years now, having gone through allllllmost every part I thought I knew just about everything a person could go through. Chemo, check. Radiation, check. Multiple surgeries, check.

Then I was introduced to something they call "drainage tubes." I’ll not say anything more about it, suffice it to say "ouch." All of those years I had been asked about my mastectomy (which was a partial, no tubes, five years ago) and I never had a response when asked about things like tubes. And reconstruction? Never had it, just walked around like Frankenstein’s monster and didn’t give it another thought. Well, now I’ve had both. I didn’t do it for kicks, there was yet another suspicious mass found and since it was the third in a year, it was decided that a complete mastectomy was a viable option. That way, all tissue can be checked and help answer these nagging questions. (I’m happy to report that all was found to be clean and clear, yay!) But, for years I have spoken to women who have talked to me about theirs, and their reconstruction following and I could only give a sympathetic hug and utter "I’m so sorry!"

But, now I know, girls. I get it. I’m so sorry I didn’t know until now what you’ve been through! I now have a full list of things to suggest when getting gifts for a friend going into this surgery. I now can offer tips and ideas about how to make yourself feel better afterwards. Everything has a silver lining; I think for me without question, the fact that I can help more people with firsthand knowledge is it. If you find yourself or someone you love about to step into that world, here are few links to help you with questions. But again, please talk to your doctor for specifics about your particular case.

Resources:
Indiana University Melvin and Bren Simon Cancer Center
American Cancer Society
breastcancer.org
American Society of Clinical Oncology
caring.com

Recognition

2011-03-01T17:10:00.007-05:00

ANYWHERE, USA - Someone sent me a link to a photo last night, and although I didn’t know one single person in the shot I knew immediately where it was taken. It’s not a iconic landmark or monument or anything like that; it was taken in an infusion center at an army hospital. Suddenly it was if I was standing right there, with the sounds, smells, images all around me. Infusion centers can do that to a person.

Please understand, these are not bad emotions. As a matter of fact, this photo made me quite happy. The nurses pictured, while they were not on duty when I spoke at this military base a few years ago, were smiling broadly and I know I’d love to meet them someday. Much like every other oncology nurse I know, they look just exactly like the kind of person you would want to hang around with if you had to sit somewhere confined in a chair for hours at a time. The walls looked exactly the same as when I had visited and met the staff and patients, the windows were streaming with the same bright sunshine as the day I came and hugged all of our military heros holding the hands of their loved ones with cancer.

It has been a singular honor and privilege for me to have spoken at some of our military hospitals and bases. It is also just as special for me when I go to civilian centers across the nation. It’s funny, I can’t tell you what I had for lunch today, but I know an infusion center when I see one, even if I haven’t been there for awhile. And in a good way, too. These are places of hope. Strength. Determination. Fortitude. Sometimes, humor and sass as well! If you are interested in seeing just how far we have come with therapy research, go visit an infusion center. Better yet, share some photos of your wonderful nurses in your center with us at foundation@verabradley.com and we'll share them on our facebook wall of honor.

Orphan

2011-02-15T09:00:00.001-05:00

UNITED STATES - **Warning: This post is about neither cancer nor hockey. History and Law from this point forward, just to issue a spoiler alert.**

You've heard of all the biggies - cancer, diabetes, heart disease. I bet you haven't heard about glioma or myasthenia gravis. They're what's known as "orphan diseases", and in the United States, there is a called the "Orphan Drug Act" that I find absolutely fascinating.

Orphan drugs were created to treat these very rare medical conditions. The economics of the world drug market makes it almost inconceivable that a manufacturer would create medicine for anything that would have a small market; perfectly logical in an capitalist society. And make no mistake, those large drug companies are able to offer incredible discounts to people who can’t afford their products, so there is a tangible philanthropic effort tied to type of economy.

This Act, passed in January of 1983, encourages drug companies to develop drugs specifically for conditions with a low number of affected people (less than 200,000 in the United States). It is actually a financial burden for companies to do that, were you aware? They simply are unable to make a profit unless the numbers are bigger; a staggering realization. How amazing that we, as a nation (in the form of the FDA) were able to step up and say, "Hey, we know this wouldn’t make sense for you to create. Let us help you assume some of the cost so that we can save as many lives as we can." Ok, those are my words and not those of the FDA. I extrapolated, I am sure they won’t mind. I always extrapolate as I read congressional acts, I mean come ON I know you do it, too.

Every week, new rare diseases are discovered and they are without treatment. To date, there have been 350 orphan drugs approved for sale in the United States. These small but important discoveries have helped ALS, MD, Huntington's, to name a few. Since the beginning of the new year, 25 drugs have been designated by the FDA as treatments. (You can search this cool database to see all the treatments being developed on the FDA's website.)

I tell you this as encouragement, my friends. It may seem like everything is only made for the big crowds, the popular kids. Every once in awhile, the hearts of the people speak out and allow absolute generosity. Thank you, my United States Congress, for reaching out your hands and helping to lift up a handful for the betterment of all.

Wisdom

2011-02-11T13:52:00.004-05:00

INDIANAPOLIS - Some of us try really hard to learn all we can during the time we are given, and sometimes absorbing all of that data makes our brains hurt. I have, for the past five years, read about cancer on a daily basis. No exaggeration; I’ve read about everything from cancer fundraisers in every little town across America to landmark research being conducted at the highest levels of scientific study. Yet, every time I finish reading that day’s updates, I realize that my scope of knowledge just got smaller, not larger.

Most articles are inflammatory – created, it seems to be less informative and more to create panic about a drug or procedure. It so happens that there is new research about the potential of threat for women who opt for reconstructive surgery following a mastectomy. This news hit, as a fabulous irony, as I was on the phone scheduling my own mastectomy and reconstruction. Niiiiicceeee.

And yes, of course there are studies out there that people should read. I have the FDA website bookmarked, that place is a veritable font of really cool information. But, I don’t let it scare me, I just use it for ongoing attempts to find wisdom.

Which brings us to knowledge, and the lack thereof. Are there risks with this surgery? Absolutely, and everyone I’ve spoken to has indicated that they were all well aware of them before they went in themselves. But, the people that have talked to me about this – many, many from around the WORLD – say that they were comfortable with their wisdom. Not that they knew everything about the procedure, or the technical design of their prosthetics, etc. But, that they knew enough about their doctors. About the research they have been funding for years. About their own self-awareness. About the myriad of clinical trials and tests in which we have all participated. About how they wanted to live their lives. About the fact that we, as a "cancer nation," have come so far that we aren’t about to start walking backwards.

Mostly, it’s in our hearts. Which is where knowledge becomes wisdom, in my opinon. We will do what we can with whatever we have so little peanuts like this one can say "I remember when my mama used to talk about cancer. I’m so glad we don’t have to worry about that any more."

Risks

2011-02-08T16:13:00.003-05:00

INDIANAPOLIS - There are a few women who, immediately after being diagnosed with breast cancer, have the presence of mind to know that they want reconstructive surgery following the removal of a tumor. Some of us are baffled by the information, overwhelmed by the data and options, and quite frankly, terrified about all the other stuff we have going on at the time. Our thoughts focus on how to get rid of the bad tissue and can’t grasp the importance, if any, of rebuilding what’s left.

I tried in vain to explain to my 9-year-old daughter what was going to happen when I had my partial mastectomy a few years ago. She, being a fan of science fiction, asked if I would consider getting some sort of a laser gun installed instead. That way, I can be a superhero. Let’s face it, she said calmly, you just told me you were going to be wearing a wig. Why not a cape and secret weapons as well? That kid. Always bringing something never previously contemplated into the conversation.

So now we learn that a super-special risk called ‘anaplastic large cell lymphoma’ could be a potential side effect of reconstruction with implants. The American Cancer Society says that the risks are small, but risks nonetheless.

In my personal opinion, any time you go in for a surgical procedure, there are risks. You know that because you are asked to sign forms attesting to that fact. Sometimes myriad forms, but that’s a blog for another time.

Some of us, and I mean US quite literally – I have friends around the world who have written to me - are looking at doing this surgery soon. A few are doing mastectomies to remove questionable bits and pieces (me) and then ‘completing’ with reconstruction. Some of my friends have waited after their mastectomies for years and have decided this is the time to do reconstruction. Some of the gals who are new to the club are getting it all done at once. No matter why, when or where the surgery happens, I am right there with you, my sisters. Because I know that every single thing in life carries a risk. Somehow we try to find the right path and just pray like crazy.

As long as we know we have company along the road, it kind of makes it all worthwhile, doesn’t it?

Carla

2011-02-03T13:55:00.004-05:00

GEORGE, SOUTH AFRICA'S WESTERN CAPE - She was made of solid iron, this little gal, but had a heart of solid gold. I met her at a dinner table in California, after she and her bike teammates had a long day of practice (and their practice could make any weekend biker cry, just so you know). They were all so beautiful, so feminine, so full of sprite and sass. Carla was so very young and lovely; long fire-red hair and a gleam in her eye to match. For the record, I have never seen little ladies consume so many carbs in one sitting. I was baffled. Awed. Jealous.

We lost her last month to a terrible bike accident. It wasn’t long after I’d met her that I learned of the hazards of riding a bike in the world today – particularly for pro riders. Since I met her, I have read on a weekly basis of the dangers and pray for my friends who have a passion for cycling. These challenges don’t sway these riders, sometimes it seems to motivate them even more. What a lesson for the rest of us, to just keep going, keep trying, keep persevering no matter the obstacles.

So to you, my dear Carla, bright light that you remain to be: Thank you for riding for Team Vera Bradley Foundation, and for those of us fortunate enough to meet you. For your inspiration and your dreams. Your dad told me in an email that you "were a role model without realizing it" and that you are in the arms of the Lord now. I hope all the little girls who watched you whiz by realize that they, too, can go out and achieve so much, and be a graceful example while doing it.

I’ll leave you with the application line from her green card, which I find to be absolutely perfect as a description: You are an “Alien of Extraordinary Ability." I should say so. RIP, dear one.

Carla
11/26/87 - 1/19/11
"The most decorated collegiate rider in U.S. history"

Read more:
Daily Peloton
Velo News
Cycling News

Photo credit: Velo Images

Time

2011-02-02T11:12:00.005-05:00

USA – One frequently cited reason that women don’t get mammograms? They are too busy. There are, of course, other reasons (pain, fear, lack of insurance) but time was a recurrent theme in a recent Journal of Women’s Health article.

It can be scary. It can be costly. It can be painful, all of those things are true. But typically, they don’t take any longer than the average lunch hour. Some women find that the task is far easier if they make a lunch date with friends and go as a group – the support is a great trend and encourages others to try the same idea.

We find ourselves so willing to take a few extra minutes to run and grab that cup of coffee in the morning, or go squeeze in time for reality TV at night. Why not do something that could be a lifesaver for you or your friend?

Meds

2011-01-27T11:10:00.002-05:00

ATLANTA - I was talking with an oncologist from Emory University this week, and was asked a pretty pointed question; do you TAKE your medicine? For most of American people, this probably sounds completely odd – why wouldn’t someone take cancer medication? Clearly, it’s a lifesaving pill, what’s that all about?

Statistically, about 40% of women who are prescribed medication after breast cancer treatment (chemo, radiation, etc.) stop taking their meds at some point. Voluntarily, is the presumption. I offer the following two suggestions, as this is what I have heard from women around the nation (world, actually).

1) Cost. Unbeknownst to many people, the large drug manufacturers are offering substantial discounts on these and many lifesaving drugs to patients. A simple phone call could get you a card you keep in your wallet that will allow you to get medicine from any major pharmacy for a reduced rate. This is a sad statement, as the solution to this problem could be a quick easy fix.

2) Life. This one isn’t so easy. I can’t count the number of women who have told me that they just can’t take the side effects – or worse, their loved ones can’t take them. Hot flashes take their toll on the whole family, just ask my kids who have to tell me all the time to CLOSE THE DOOR MOMMY IT’S SNOWING AND WE ARE COLD!!! There are a myriad of other side effects from some drugs, and I’ve been told that a few gals stopped taking them because the bone pain made their jobs difficult.

So, to all of you out there who think nothing of taking that multivitamin first thing in the morning, don’t forget your other meds, too. You being here with hot flashes is more important than the alternative.

Amy

2011-01-18T06:24:00.008-05:00

NEW YORK, NEW YORK - I have this great, bubbly, energetic friend who has been an inspiration for several years now, her name is Amy Hughes. One of my daughters has a particular bond with her, she immediately went over to her and stuck like glue within moments of meeting her, which is a rare thing. I just feel like she is part of my family; as is the woman who introduced us, Carolyn.

Amy is a breast cancer survivor and a mother of six. Thirteen years ago, she was diagnosed with not only the news of breast cancer, but a very frightening diagnosis from her surgeon. Her lymph nodes were also involved, and a large number of them. Her treatment involved months and months of chemotherapy, and a bone marrow transplant with simultaneous stem cell treatment as well. Her chemo was an extremely high dosage meant to combat the disease and prepare her for the upcoming battle with the bone marrow and stem cell therapies. This was followed by months of radiation. She had the gamut of side effects, of course, and as she puts it "went through the bad wigs" stage as well. She went to so many hospitals for tests, opinions and treatment that it makes my head spin.

I KNOW your first question; how on EARTH did she do that with six kids? How is that possible for her to have that kind of stamina? Here’s my favorite part about Amy – she credits her dear darling husband (I love him for his hockey-fan side) for being right there by her side for every single appointment. She also says it was all for the kids. That’s what kept her going, why she fought so hard. She couldn’t imagine it any other way. Her first question to a nurse who was going to treat her was, "Well, who is going to take care of my kids now?" The reply was forceful and perfect, "YOU are going to take care of them." How wonderful, that raw permission and absolute certainty that she would survive, of course, don’t be ridiculous. Just as a side note, in case you think she is super-woman (which I do), she says she did choose to leave her successful career as a CPA behind her once she was diagnosed. Something had to give, she said. Well I would hope so, how many irons in the fire can one mama have?

She is worth knowing, this Amy of mine. She’s a rare quiet gem in the world, someone who looks to be a petite tender little flower. Tiny, but fun, she appears to be as delicate as anything. You would never know by looking at her that she is made of solid diamond, strong and true, and made of the toughest substance on earth. I write this because she is worth admiring, and she is someone that has most certainly been an influence on her children. You might know some of them because they are very successful in their own rights. But they will get their own blog posts later. Meanwhile, Rebecca, David, Matt, Sarah, Emily and Taylor, thanks for sharing your mama with us. Thanks for being exactly what she needed to get her going and to keep her going as she fought her battle. See you all on the ice!

Pennies

2011-01-11T13:49:00.000-05:00

QUAD CITIES (but could be coming soon to a town near you!) - Come on, I only have a few bucks. It’s not like that can help anybody. Plus, I really want to spend it on myself because I’ve had a long day and I deserve this ... fill in the blank …

I found this cool civil engineering site (yes, I find those civil engineers to be a fantastic bunch) that shows the strength of a penny. If used properly, you can assemble them and actually create a very strong structure.

The idea that individual contributions can’t help anyone should be a thing of the past, but clearly this is not the case. The downturn in the economy and a simple fiscal year switch has altered the lives of people in the quad cities in a fairly terrible way – the funding for people who need mammograms RAN OUT. Yes, according to a story on WQAD-TV, women who were under-insured or have high deductibles (these are women who actually have health insurance but still can’t afford a test!!!) were unable to get a mammogram. (Please note: The Centers for Disease Control has a program to help low-income, uninsured and underserved get breast and cervical screenings.)

I’m delighted to report that a new donor, the Trinity Foundation, stepped in to help cover this terrible gap. They held a fundraising event, much like the hundreds I have been so blessed to attend, and they averted a financial crisis. So yes, events can actually make a change. Your attendance at such an event, while masked as a fantastically fun party, can be the change that is needed. Your simple donation of even just a few dollars can be pooled with others, like this event did, and change an entire region.

It doesn’t have to be a breast cancer charity (but if you want to, gosh I know a great one - verabradley.org) – just pick the charity of your choice. Donate 5 bucks and see what happens. Maybe next month you can shoot for $10 or $15. Then, you might just feel the need to throw a party for the charity and make it $20K. Sometimes the power of change is sitting right there in front of you, in those hands of yours. :)

Empowered

2011-01-03T15:56:00.008-05:00

PETOSKEY, MICHIGAN - Mel Majoros has her life in order. That’s how it seems to me, anyway. I was introduced to her (online) by a mutual twitter friend. We all liked hockey, so naturally I wanted to say hi! In spite of the fact that I knew she was in Michigan and was most likely a Redwings fan (please keep in mind I’m from Chicago ). So we chat. It takes about .5 seconds before I learn that she’s a survivor.

Three years ago she was on her way to the last day of Redwings training camp (her fan life is a bright, shiny world compared to the rest of us hockey fans …) when her doctor called her and asked how soon she could get in to discuss the biopsy results. You get a call like that, you already know what’s going on, without any further words being spoken. What a shock to someone who was in the ‘best shape of her life’.

She was triple positive, and in our world, it’s better than a few other diagnoses she could have received. As an adopted child, it took her some research to find out if there was a family history of the disease (there was, sadly). She had surgery, chemo – including the much despised red devil – and powered her way through all the side effects. She told me that at one point, the nurse whipped out a needle so large she felt like she was in a cartoon. “What is that thing, like 3 feet long? You have to be kidding me!” The exhaustion coupled with insomnia was a particularly challenging battle for her, one that so many of us struggle to handle.

As a radio producer, she was delighted to be offered the opportunity to host her own show www.empoweradio.com; her focus is to tell people to be an EMPOWERED PATIENT. She refuses to let people embrace the idea of being referred to in the past tense once they have a diagnosis. There are so many patients who need strength and help in areas that are totally unaddressed, and she features them on her show to offer them a bigger voice. She’s interviewed singers who embrace the cause like Ryan Hamner and children like Melinda who write award winning books about cancer.

Her outreach and work is touching people, more than she can possibly understand. Thank you, Mel, for allowing me to put the spotlight on you for a change of pace. Keep fighting, cancer warrior!!!

Geraldine

2011-01-01T12:25:00.002-05:00

MICHGAN – Last week, Geraldine Doyle passed away at age 86. According to CNN she was the inspiration for the iconic ‘We can do it’ posters from WWll. She was a tall, thin cellist who briefly worked in a factory as so many women did as the men went to war. She actually met her husband at a soda fountain, can you think of anything more quintessentially 1940’s and perfect? Thank you, Mrs. Doyle, for silently standing for so many things. For giving a face to women around the nation.

She has come to be an icon for so many things, up to and including breast cancer, believe it or not. I was gifted a t-shirt that had her image sporting a pink bandana and the words ‘We can cure it’ emblazoned on the bottom. She’s such a paradox, which is why she is exactly the perfect face for our goal. She isn’t packed with muscles, she’s not sporting a power suit, she’s just an average working woman. Like so many of us, she appears to be someone who could be our mother, our sister, our friends and on a really good day (look at how lovely she is!) she’s us. Beauty packed up in a blue collar, literally.

Here’s to the way America was when young Geraldine went to work in a metal factory in Michigan with her red bandana. Here’s to the way America is now, rolling up our sleeves and doing all we can to empower ourselves, hopefully by way of helping others. Here’s to America in our future, in the faces of our daughters. Strong, beautiful, confident. And healthy.

2011!

2011-01-01T12:24:00.003-05:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Here’s to the happy thought that by this time next year, I will be writing something like “the unprecedented advancements in cancer research this year have led to a cure, what a wonderful year this has been!”

Work

2011-01-01T12:11:00.002-05:00

FORT WAYNE, INDIANA - Lynda recently started working for the Vera Bradley Foundation for Breast Cancer. It’s not just a job to her, I’ve learned. She has had several people in her family affected by breast cancer - this year alone! In some cases, that is how things happen. Work becomes more than just work when your heart gets involved. This morning, the New York Times posted an article about Dr. Marisa Weiss. Dr. Weiss is a 51-year-old oncologist who just happens to be the founder of breastcancer.org, an incredibly helpful website for those of us with a passion to find a cure. We’ve referred people to that website for quite some time now, and look forward to more of that via our various social media avenues (@followheidi on twitter; facebook; and this blog.

She has made the rare but meaningful transition from someone who really cared about this to someone who is now directly affected. Her passion now is to make sure that word is spread about getting mammograms. They aren’t perfect, she says, but they save lives. She says that her annual mammogram saved her life.

Huge kudos to the New York Times for putting out a breast cancer message outside the month of **gasp!!** October! And for reminding as many people as possible to take their health and their passion into their own hands. The sooner, the better.

Photo courtesy of the New York Times.

Peace

2011-01-01T12:06:00.001-05:00

PEACE on the earth, goodwill to men. :)

Honeysuckle

2010-12-14T14:57:00.003-05:00

WORLDWIDE - Since I have been working at Vera Bradley, I have been tuned in to color. It has been a wonderful addition to my formerly monochromatic world and wardrobe. Every year, the fashion world convenes to determine what is the next hot color. I am happy to announce that 2011 is the year of hot pink.

For those of us in the breast cancer community, I think I speak for us all when I say this, “Hey world, embrace your pink! And please, pretty please, give just a wee little bit of the proceeds to cancer research. Thank you!”

Elizabeth Edwards

2010-12-08T08:47:00.004-05:00

CHAPEL HILL, NORTH CAROLINA - "But I have found that in the simple act of living with hope, and in the daily effort to have a positive impact in the world, the days I do have are made all the more meaningful and precious. And for that, I am grateful."
– Elizabeth Edwards

Thank you, Elizabeth, for showing us grace, compassion and strength. We know that there are far worse things than cancer, and you are an example of how all of life’s tribulations can be mastered without them becoming our master. Rest in Peace.

Editor's Note: Please take a moment to view this inspiring video. http://bit.ly/i2waik

Missouri!

2010-12-07T09:00:00.000-05:00

MISSOURI HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES – “No time limit shall be imposed on an individual for the receipt of a prosthetic or reconstructive surgery and it provides that if an individual changes his or her insurance, then coverage for such procedures must transfer to the new policy.”

The above is an excerpt from the SCS/SB Act from the great state of Missouri. While this may not seem like a big deal to anyone who hasn’t had to consider such a thing, to those of us currently in treatment for this very disease – it’s a whopper. The decision is huge for a patient, whether to reconstruct for appearance, self esteem or simply balance (literally!) or to postpone to see if a second diagnosis might be forthcoming.

Many women (and men) vacillate about this surgery, and in some places it could mean the difference between insurance covering that procedure or not. Research your policy very carefully so that you are aware of your potential time frame. (Here are some tips.) If you have an HR department that is compassionate about these topics, visit them to get their advice. They work with insurance companies frequently, so they might have more insight.

In the end, however, I salute Missouri. You have given the world Mark Twain and now this super-fantastic bill. Thanks!

Burden

2010-12-02T09:00:00.001-05:00

UNITED STATES – “Cancer burden” is described as “A measure of the incidence of cancer within the population and an estimate of the financial, emotional or social impact it creates. The burden of disease is not borne equally by all population groups in the United States.” (National Cancer Institute (NCI))

There are many terms on NCI’s website that are unknown to the majority of people I personally know; and that is a good thing. Only when you or someone you love is diagnosed do you learn things like the true meanings of “life tables” and “SEER registries.”

It will be a wonderful day, worldwide, when this website becomes obsolete.

Eyebrows

2010-11-23T09:00:00.001-05:00

BRISTOL, ENGLAND - According to the American Cancer Society,
“If hair loss does occur, it most often begins within 2 weeks of the start of treatment and gets worse 1 to 2 months after starting therapy." This is what you read in the brochures, along with an extensive list of helpful tips. Truly helpful – did you know that you can get a prescription for a wig, as the cost is often covered by insurance? Wonderful!

Way down toward the bottom of most websites lists of tips is to be careful with eyebrows, perhaps eyelashes too. From my perspective, once you have plowed through all the top-of-head hair loss, you are spinning with overwhelming info. You might miss that bit of info, like I did. I had a dear friend who tried to walk me through an installation of false eyelashes, and that had disastrous results. Helpful tip from me to you: if you are diagnosed in October, don’t just run out and buy the first set of eyelashes you find. Be sure to check to see if it has ‘Halloween special fright night length’ on the lash box. Ok, on to the story.

So I am a novice (at best) when it comes to makeup. I didn’t know I would lose my eyebrows, and that makes a huge difference. People can handle gals with really short or no hair (perky! cute! pixie! are words that spring to mind). But lose the eyebrows, and people have a hard time with that one. They blink, frown, and then it hits them. OOOOOOOHHHH she’s in treatment. And that must be a wig. Ooooooohhhhhhh.

So I am on twitter with my friend, Nick, from Bristol. Nick is a make-up whiz and was guiding a lady through how to pencil in some eyebrows when chemo had so helpfully removed them. I wanted to share his tips with you. Nick, thank you. For helping that patient, for reaching out and chatting with me, and for being so willing to share your expertise with others. I know that your Mum’s chemo starts in a few days; you will both be in my prayers.

NICKS TIPS ON HOW TO ACHIEVE THE PERFECT BROW:

* To get perfect brows, you can use a brow pencil or brow powder. You do not need to spend major money on this, Rimmel Londondoes a fantastic pencil with a few shades, and Body Shopsells fantastic powders. Use ashy brown colours, even if your hair is naturally black because black is very ageing. If you use a powder, then you need a good angled liner brush.

* Use a pencil or shadow brush as a guide. Lay it against your nose and point it up towards your forehead. Where your brows should begin is where the pencil hits your brow bone. Turn your guide so it meets the outer corner of your eye. Your brow should end at this point (on the bone).

* The highpoint of the arch in your brow should be just past the outer edge of your iris.

* If you create 3 'points' with your pencil, then you can create a basic shape for your brow.

* Use small 'feathery' strokes with the brush or pencil. Upwards until you hit the arch, then downwards from the arch to the outer point. This way, the strokes looks like hairs. If you draw a line, it looks unnatural.

* Soften it using an eyebrow brush along where you have put the colour.

911

2010-11-18T09:00:00.000-05:00

COLUMBIA CITY, INDIANA - Early for work, what an incredible turn of events this is! I’m driving along on my way into the office and see a police officer getting off of his motorcycle to give a speeding car a ticket. We all merge left, to give him some room. Then, about 5 minutes later, whoosh! They both go flying by - the crazy driver and the officer! The car takes a tight turn off the highway, and the motorcycle tries to follow. In my rearview mirror, I see him wipe completely out on the street!!!

I pull over to the side of the highway, dial 911 and start running to the accident. The car that caused this is now long gone, and another driver has gotten out of his car to help as well. I am running and talking to the 911 guy. I resist the urge to say 'send a bus' like they do on Law and Order:SVU but man, do I want to. Running in heels on the highway, what a way to start a Monday. I reach him as he is standing up, kind of wobbly but on his feet. Looks like he has injured his ankle, but wants to try to get back on the bike.

The 911 operator seems insistent that an ambulance come, but the officer says it's not necessary and the call is stopped. The other driver goes off to work, so I start to walk back to my own car. The officer drives off, but then pulls over immediately behind my car, about 1/2 a mile away. As I am walking, a red mustang pulls over and asks if I want a ride–it’s another police officer in stealth mode. HA! So I jump in (I’m tall, it’s a little car, but who would pass this up?) and we get to the injured officer. He’s now off the bike again and resting on the side of the road.

This is the best part, to me. The mustang cop says, "Let's take a look at the leg," and the first guy pulls up his trouser. And there it is. One of the prettiest boots I’ve ever seen-black patent leather with little ties, full to knee boot. "Oooooohhhhhhh, so pretty!" I say. They all look at me and stop for a moment, blinking. In the middle of all of this, is she really commenting on the footwear? (Clearly, never met me before) Then they all crack up. Much needed tension breaker, they say. "Um, yea, ok." But I was totally serious, where do you get them? Heh. They thank me for pulling over and staying with him, to which I reply – “Well, who wouldn’t?" Then the red mustang guy says “NO one. There have been 60 cars at least that have passed us. You and one other fella stopped. That’s it. Two out of at least 60.”

The good news is that our hero the police officer is ok. His buddies came and took great care of him. So here’s what I took away from my Monday morning. I don’t have to be sitting in an office to help someone. I don’t have to only help people in the world of breast cancer. All of us can do something pretty small every day to try to help someone, even if there isn’t anything you can really do, you can at least try! I still made it to work on time and got to see some great kicks. Just fyi – they are upwards of 400 bucks. :)

Pink Elephants

2010-11-17T07:01:00.006-05:00

ATHENS, ALABAMA - Last month, Athens Limestone Hospital hosted their third annual “Pink Elephant” breast cancer awareness fundraiser – and as always, it was a sold-out event. This year, I met a jewelry store that participated because they lost the family matriarch to breast cancer, and wanted to do something in her memory. I met a woman who had just been diagnosed and was just starting her treatment. She was amazing - she had attended this event before, and had always helped but of course never suspected that she herself would join this club.

They gave a portion of the proceeds right to the Vera Bradley Foundation; wonderfully generous. Then, a change of pace. They had seen the ‘pink glove video’ circulating out there and wanted to do something to match that theme. So we were all given pink gloves and they took our photo. Then we all went outside where a man was precariously perched on top of a ladder and we formed a ribbon for a picture. Let me tell you, 100 ladies telling a man on a ladder ‘now be careful’ is a lot of fun. Nothing like that many moms checking up on your safety!

This photo is of Kelli. She is one of the many people who attended the event. I love the image that shows her face- full of happiness but surrounded by the sea of pink hands. All ready to pitch in and do what it takes to find a cure.

Photo courtesy Athens Limestone Hospital

$270 Million

2010-11-16T09:00:00.001-05:00

THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA - According to the Washington Post, the 2010 election cycle saw “Independent groups have reported spending $270 million so far, but that number does not include tens of millions of dollars more that were not disclosed to the Federal Election Commission."

I don’t want to wax the political philosopher here, but I would like to toss this out for consideration. The Fiscal Year 2010 Defense Appropriations Act provides $150 million to the Department of Defense Breast Cancer Research Program. Take a little look-see at those numbers, my friends. I don’t particularly care what party you are affiliated with, or if you are ‘red’ or ‘blue’ (Silliness, this is America. We are basically shades of purple, if you think about it.), those numbers are kind of a disparity to me. We spent so much for such fleeting dust in the general time/space continuum, when we might have been jacking up funding that can give a cure to an entire planet. A FOR-EV-ER cure.

I would like to respectfully submit that our newly and formerly elected politicians consider spending just a tad less on mean-speech ads and tell the independent groups to donate the money instead to breast cancer research. And then tell us you are doing that; you might be shocked at how many people vote for that kind of gesture. I could be wrong, but it’s it fun to live in a country that allows me to think such thought – and be allowed to put it in print! Whoo-hoo, yay America!!! :)

Armistice

2010-11-11T09:58:00.000-05:00

UNITED STATES OF AMERICA - “Dedicated to the cause of world peace” were the words used in 1938, designed to honor the end of World War I with a special holiday. After termed “Veterans Day”. Armistice means, basically, work out your differences – without causing further harm. Sometimes this means that battles have to be fought. Wars have to be endured. Nations have to buckle down and fight for what they know to be right, and help give others a taste of freedom.

This is a day set aside to thank and honor those who have served and are still with us, whether they served in war or peace. To thank them in a special way, what do you all say to acting with honor. To behave in a decent way. To suspend hostilities. The people you see pictured are brothers, cousins, friends, husbands, fathers and one great mommy. They have and some continue to serve all of us with their professions. Thank you for giving so much for all of us. Hopefully everyone reading this will take a moment to appreciate your efforts.

And perhaps take a Veteran out for lunch. They love a good lunch. :)

(Photos: Top, left to right: U.S. Air Force, Logistics Readiness Officer: Andrea Taylor; U.S. Navy, Master at Arms: Ralph Jerzy; U.S. Army, Combat Medic/SPC: Cody Floyd; U.S. Army, Unit Supply Sergeant: Seth Floyd; Bottom:Captain Nevin Bultemeier U.S. Army 1991-2001)

Hawks!!!

2010-11-05T08:00:00.003-04:00

Chicago, Illinois - Hockey Fights Cancer is my next nod to the silent supporters in the fight against cancer. The reigning Stanley Cup Champions - the Chicago Blackhawks (I'm woozy just being able to say that in one sentence...) recently hosted HFC in their house. It was out in the news but didn’t get nearly the attention it deserved. This team quietly and diligently worked to insure that several cancer foundations all were able to receive incredible donations.

Their staff members are amazing - so kind, so generous. They worked well over 14 hours in one day to make it all happen smoothly and seamlessly. One gal told me 'You know, you work every day so hard but then you get a day like today. It all seems worthwhile when you get to give back.' Amen! The players wives came out on the concourse to sell pucks to raise money - that’s right, the players wives. Tell me how many wives of pro athletes would take the time to help out in such a public and open manner? Amazing.

And then there was the golden moment. (Golden, get it? Golden ... jet ... ok, anyway ...) My son was put on the zamboni for the beginning of the game. This little boy who wasn’t supposed to make it this far, according to some. He had all that chemo in utero, who knew he would get this far? Who would have guessed that I would survive to see him do this fun thing? Now he and his sisters are in Chicago with the best hockey team on the planet. A big thank you to my friend Ashley and to the Chicago Blackhawks. Your hearts are all bigger than Lord Stanley's Cup.