Amy

ANGOLA, INDIANA - "I'm the first" she told me, "first in just about everything you don’t want to have to go through in life" and then she laughed really hard.She's just a delight, my new friend, Amy, because she is constantly positive. It's obvious from the first moment you meet her; she really exudes that kind of everything-will-be-just-fine attitude. So sweet and refreshing!

Of course, her situation is totally serious. Not a laughing matter at all. She's the first of her friends to get breast cancer, she told me. THAT kind of first. But just in her short journey with this disease, her impact is being made aware to everyone. Many of her dear friends immediately went to get mammograms when she was diagnosed. Two of them received call-backs for suspicious reads of those scans. Just like that, she transitioned from patient to advocate. To life-changer. To hope-giver and inspiration. Just like that.

She does tell her friends that they need not worry. "If it’s a one in eight situation" she says, "I'll be your one. Just be sure to only have 8 friends!" And then I hear that laugh again. Delightful. :)

Jill

LAS VEGAS, NEVADA - Twice a year, Vera Bradley throws a party. They invite all of their friends to attend, and it is everything you would think it would be. It's more fun than you can imagine, the food is spectacular and you learn all about our product and designs. You also actually get to meet the co-founders. In person. And they are delightful, in case you were wondering. :) 

I always get to share my own personal story, and that of the incredible Foundation that Barb and Pat started nearly two decades ago (the Foundation part is astonishing to me; you do know that $20 million have been pledged to cancer research, right?).

Much like every other gathering, I met many new cancer patients and survivors, and reunited with ladies who have been social media buddies for years now. It's always a great time. 

This time; however, I received something entirely unexpected. I received a message that said someone had made a small video of me as I was speaking. Her goal was to show it to her dear friend who was struggling on her journey with cancer. I spoke on April 14th, and tried to impress upon everyone how much we need to help one another. Just take care of people who struggle with this disease, I begged.  

Jill, my online friend, did just that. She supported her friend, thought about her and took back encouraging words of solace. 

Jill's friend passed away on the 19th. It was, and will always be, a poignant story for me. All of our words matter, dear friends. I will forever be reminded of that fact as I remember Jill. 

I'm so sorry for your loss, Jill. But I am eternally grateful for that amazing act of kindness. You have allowed my entire Vera Bradley family to be included in the most precious time, and we are all humbled by your gesture. 

- heidi

Princess

USA. A long, long time ago in a fish far, far away, there one was a pretty little gene that liked to jump around.

That gene looked liked it was not working, like she wasn't  going to be able to offer anyone very much.

But then, in a far-away land (or, as I like to call it;  "Minnesota"),  a handsome prince ( I like to call him "a group of cancer researchers") decided to see if they could make the beautiful sleeping princess gene wake up.

They did, and she did. They ran to the castle (I call it "fish dissection part of the laboratories").  The beautiful jumping princess gene is actually called the "Sleeping Beauty" - and she might be the one to show us the fingerprint of every tumor's cancer gene. The handsome prince (s) were so happy, they immediately told the town crier to spread the news (I like to call that the "National Institute of Health and the Journal Nature"). 

This beautiful princess and her heros will work together to find and defeat the horrible villain (I call him "stupid cancer").

They will attack all the paths that the villain has owned until now; block it, squash it, gallantly end that evil.

The good news to all of this is that I am NOT telling you a fairy tale. The heros are real, the beautiful princess is real, and those of us ready to help get a sword and help are also real. (I like to call us "donors to cancer research"). The Sleeping Beauty Gene is back in the news with scientists making even more discoveries about what drives tumor growth - the more we know about what makes the evil villain tick, the greater the chances we'll be able to outsmart it. 

And we all lived happily ever after. The End. (Cue the sweeping dramatic music and sunset.)

Abstract

Matisse Mamas My Dear Piet ATLANTA, GEORGIA - I was asked to join a group of fabulous women, all breast cancer survivors, in Atlanta. The party was hosted by a company with a breathtaking view of philanthropy: they really just want to make a difference for mommies who have breast cancer. The company is Kids II and they search every year for women who’s charities could use a little financial boost. So far, 40 women have seen their foundations benefit from this incredible generosity. I’ve met the people who run this company, and trust me when I tell you – they are unique in all the world. They actually.care.about.us.    So for one of the evenings at this all-weekend party, they took us to the High Museum of Art, a superfantastico art museum. We had such an amazing time, just walking around all of that beauty. And I’m not just talking about those cancer patients, the art wasn’t bad either. ;) I realized at one point that we, all of us, were abstract now. At one point in our lives, we were all painted by Rembrandt, Titian, Raffaello Sanzio da Urbin. All of us cancer gals were exactly as we were originally designed; not a scratch on us. At some point; however, cancer reached out its brush full out paint and splattered us. Now we are an abstract version of who we used to be, in every way possible. But the beauty of that is the fact that we are now a new and different type of art piece. Of course we have scars. Things are totally misaligned, crooked, off center. Entire body parts have been, in most cases, removed, adjusted and stuck right back on like a crazy lego set. As I looked around that museum, I realized that we are STILL ART, however. My fellow patients were still lovely – some so beautiful the rest of us were pea green with envy (me, mostly about their shoes, to be candid). But there you have it. We are abstract. But as a result, we are beautiful. Worth noticing. Highly valued. As a matter of fact, every day we age we become even more miraculous and worth a pretty high appraisal.

Soy

NATIONWIDE -  Oh my goodness, do I get diet tips when I am on the road.  Every week, I have at least 5 or 6 emails, chats, etc that invite me to learn about  some new fabulous thing that will most certainly rid my body of cancer cells. The good part of this is that I have a) a genius oncologist who is willing to listen to all my questions and b) many of the ‘cure-all’ items being recommended do not boast universal endorsement by professionals. Soy, however, is a recurring theme I’d like to discuss.

IT DOES NOT CAUSE BREAST CANCER, I have been assured by myriad medical experts. Does. Not. However, because of my type of breast cancer, my doctor has recommended I do not eat it. According to him, for those of us who’s cancer really seems to enjoy estrogen, it could cause problems. Some certain parts of soy may exhibit estrogen-like activity, so I just steer clear. I don’t Eat it, Drink it, Consume it at all, so please don’t send me recipes containing it. I have watched so many interactions between a well-meaning tipster trying to convince a breast cancer patient to stop eating this or that and just eat soy;  and watched the patient politely smile and try not to wince. For many women and men with breast cancer, it is just fine to have this product.  No worries, it might even have a strong health benefit! For others, however, it very well may be walking trouble so we don’t consume it.

I have found that the best way for anyone to dispense advice about food is this way:.

1)      Only give nutrition advice when asked. Specifically. About nutrition, and then just stick to the topic. Don’t waver off onto something like exercise with a patient mid-chemo. We don’t want to know how fabulous your pilates or zumba makes your backside look . Please. We are just trying to survive.

2)      Don't pretend you are a doctor, unless of course you are a doctor. Always say: "This just is something I found helped ME when I was in chemo or radiation. I have a friend who tried broccoli and it was great for her. You should just ask your onc what he/she thinks might help."

3)      We know that by eating things like steak, whipped cream, pudding, etc., we might have made bad choices. We know diet has made a difference, but we also know that those choices didn’t make us eligible to "deserve our breast cancer."  Saying something like that to a cancer patient puts you on Santa’s bad list, just fyi.

4)      Read before you advise. I don’t mean articles on the web or something you saw in the waiting room magazines while you were getting your tires changed. Read the face of the person to whom you are speaking. Is she wincing? Perhaps you are saying something that she just can’t do. Does she look like she might cry or hit you? If so, immediately compliment her on her shoes. Trust me, this works.

5)      We all know that there are some other remote countries offering other diet programs at a glamorous spa-like retreat in a beautiful setting. If we don’t have access to it, please don’t tell us. Much in the same way I am certain that the Cinderella Suite in Disneyworld exists, if I’ll never see it I don’t want to know about it. Thanks, though.

Soy specific, our friends at Livestrong have written a great post about recent discoveries in that area. 

Dottie

Stacie, Baby Dottie's mama

Sweet Baby Dottie Mae

UNITED KINGDOM - Stacie, please know that there is an army out here for you. We are working every single day to help find a cure. My prayer is that your sweet Dottie will never have to make the choice that you did. RIP, fellow cancer warrior.

The Pinking of Delta

HUNTSVILLE, ALABAMA - For the record, Delta Airlines is not a sponsor of the Vera Bradley Foundation. Just want to get that out of the way lest you think this is some odd product placement gimmick. :)

So October means I get to meet many, many (many!!!) wonderful people on the road. And, as a sad little counterpoint, leave some sweet little people behind at the same time. I am busy in October with speaking engagements, running all over trying to help get donations and sponsors across the nation.

This means I pick up the pace with my flying this time of year. I find myself most often on Delta flights, and this makes me kind of happy. I see a subtle way for their employees to show those of us that are patients and survivors that they care about us and are thinking about us.

I've found that everyone wearing a hint of pink at Delta will also very readily tell you why they are wearing it, too. From the fuchsia ties to the tidy little scarves - pilots, ticket agents, everyone is willing to take an extra minute and share the stories of their aunts, mamas, sisters, wives, even brothers.

I like this. I like that they don't jam it down your throat and force you to acknowledge or donate - it's simply a quiet and dignified statement as a tribute to someone in their lives that has been affected. I really enjoy the moments that they have shared with me, these Delta folks. I really like their big pink plane, although I've never gotten to ride in it (boooo!).

So thanks, big D, for pinking yourselves. Feel free to consider this an open invite to call me about sponsorship, too, honey. ;). (Seriously. (260) 438-8553. Or just look around. Odds are I'm sitting in one of your seats as you read this.)