Thursday, April 1, 2010


INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA - I put Indy on here, because that’s where this little fella had the biggest struggle of his whole life and he doesn’t even remember it. He was floating around in amniotic fluid and chemo at the same time, kicking like crazy. I’ve met a few other mommies who had babies while being treated for breast cancer, and we all act the same. We are all ferociously proud of our children, and even more ferociously angry at this disease. How DARE you come near me when I am busy creating life, stupid cancer!

So today my son gets a big shout out for a big reason. He turns 5 years old today. Initially, I was told that I had to pick, baby or cancer. Thanks to the second opinion given by the great doctors at IU Simon Cancer Center, I didn’t really have to pick, I got to ditch the cancer and get the baby. He’s 5 and he’s flawless. He has great big blue eyes and smooth white hair. He doesn’t like to see his sisters cry, and it makes him angry if you tell him it’s time to be done with Mario Kart. He is taller than his 8-year-old sister, and thinks the word ‘because’ qualifies as a complete sentence. Walking into the pond fully dressed and using a napkin as a superhero cape are totally logical ideas in his world. He says things like ‘I really AM handsome, mommy!’ and ‘My sisters are my best friends!’ all the time. In other words, he is above average but on the whole, a genuine little boy like so many others.

At night, after I have read him his ‘bednight’ story and tucked him in, I watch him sleep. I touch that hair and hold those little boy hands. I cry with joy for the blessing he is, and realize that all of his normalcy, all of his standard-little-boy things make him all the more miraculous. Happy birthday, my little man. Mommy loves you.