Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Picking Fights

WARSAW, INDIANA - One of my little peanuts is taking Ta Kwon Do lessons and is learning some incredible things; things I hope will give her a good strong base for her future confidence and strength. One of her instructors told her that she is never – NEVER EVER EVER – to start a fight. Once pushed either physically or verbally, she has to follow simple, clear guidelines before she is to respond with physical contact. Basically, exhaust all possible avenues before you wipe the floor with them. A few months ago, I was in with a group of people discussing an opportunity that had arisen. I was the lone cheerleader, trying to get something pushed through even though I knew from the moment I walked in that it wasn’t going to happen. During that conversation, I was told “Heidi, if it was meant to be, it would just happen. If you have to fight that hard for something it’s just not meant to be.” So being the Heidi that I am, I have been thinking about that for MONTHS and just trying to let that settle in my soul somehow. I love the person that said it, I really do. But I have to respectfully disagree, and with great gusto. Here’s why. There is not one thing in my life that has come easily, and most certainly not the really really good stuff. Every one of my children has been a fight to bring into the world, all of my pregnancies were a bit difficult. I’ve had two miscarriages, so I really do know how much of a fight it is to bring them all the way here. And cancer – please. That is one journey that I can describe as a ‘fight’ and almost everyone would agree with me. Mine wasn’t the kind that one surgery would take care of, and glide through without chemo or radiation. Oh no, mine was full on. Surgery, surgery and more surgery. Chemo that hurt and made me sick and took bits of my memory and all of my savings. Radiation that gave me a fab-u-lous little rectangle suntan and made me tired all the time. I’ve fought for insurance coverage, for relationships, for jobs, for injustices and even for things like the advertised price on laundry detergent. I let things go if I don’t feel passionately about them, and just move on. But if it’s something crucial to my heart, I will just keep.on.going until I have exhausted all avenues. Right now, as we speak, someone is sending me an email or a letter telling me that they (or someone they love) have been diagnosed. They want me to respond, and always ask for some advice, some words of wisdom. I don’t have great wisdom, but I can tell you this. Fight, and fight hard. It is worth it, and you are meant to be. Exhaust all possible avenues that you have. Then wipe the floor with that wicked cancer. I’ve got a little kid karate suit, if you need to borrow it. :)

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