Respect

ARLINGTON NATIONAL CEMETERY, ARLINGTON, VIRGINIA - There are just a handful of things I can say ‘I am passionate about that’; it just takes a lot of work to put your heart into too many things. My God, my family, my mission, my country. Those are the tops, although to round out the list I would have to add ‘history’ as well. This weekend really is a fairly tidy wrap-up of just about all of those things. I KNOW you have no idea how I can link them all together, right? HA! Well, here we go. Keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle while on this ride, my friends, and please – no flash photography.

Arlington was supposed to be a tribute to George Washington at first. His relatives lived in the house (yes, including Robert E. Lee. That is one of those ironies that just tickles me). The house and grounds were appropriated in 1864 to become a military cemetery. There are a staggering number of incredibly brave Americans laid to rest in this location, and I’d love for you to learn more about it if you are interested. In 1929, President Hoover participated in the first Memorial Day event there, marking the first for our nation.

In the interest of full disclosure, I should let you know that my family is military. My dad, my brother, my brother-in-law, my cousins-in-law, my cousin; really, I can’t think of a branch of my family that hasn’t served our country. As a result, I have a healthy respect for people who serve. My children thank uniformed personnel when we see them at the zoo or in the park, and they all can sing the Marine Corps hymn and the National Anthem. And the Ray Charles version of America, just for kicks. I get angry when I hear stories of disrespect, and cry when I see faces of boys who have been lost while serving. This country, MY country, was established and continues to be the very best place on the planet. We have so much that we often times forget and ramble with inconsequential nit-picking – and what a blessing that is to have such freedom and free time. My grandpa (after leaving the country he loved to start over and make a better life) told me to read the Declarationand the Constitution and remember them. Remember that work, respect, honor and family are not rights; they are gifts. We are able to enjoy all of them here in America, he told me, but outside of our borders the world is very, very different.

So to all of you men and women who have done so much for us, thank you. Thank you 3-61 Cav, within your ranks is a family member who made it home – and I grieve for the families who can’t say the same. And to you, Kathryn George Frost, pictured above. She was a two-star general and was a well-respected individual. She stated that her military training gave her a keen advantage when she went on to fight her next battle. Sadly, she lost the last battle – it was against my old nemesis breast cancer. She’s resting at Arlington, too. Thank you, America, for letting me say things like this, and for allowing me to honor these people.

Walking In Her Shoes ... (um, skates)

COLUMBUS, OHIO - For all the right reasons. ALL the right reasons. How many of us can say that we get up every day, leave the ones we love at home and plow through myriad minutia to do something for all the right reasons? Even if your profession is a noble one (oh, say cancer research, oncology nurse, hospice volunteer, kindergarten teacher with endless patience, etc.) how many of you know at the end of the day that everything you have done, no matter how exhausting, everything was for the right reasons?

I’ve found through my travels, both real and virtual, that very often when someone battles cancer, they (or their families) are drawn to do one of two things: write a book or create a foundation in their name. Both, I think, are to help preserve their names in perpetuity and to help others. It is sweet, and will make a lasting impression. My friend Carolyn is a cancer warrior, but has taken a decidedly different version of her life-script. I think you need to know about her.

She was a young woman and brilliant figure skater when she found her breast cancer, and battled it fiercely. After she endured chemo and six surgeries, she decided to make her focus in life a simple one: be a mommy to her precious daughter, a wife to her wonderful husband and raise money for breast cancer. Period. It’s clean, it’s easy to remember and it’s all for the right reasons. Her nonprofit organization is called Skate for Hope, and her commitment is staggering. Go look on her webpage – there are 2 sentences devoted to her struggles. TWO! The rest is focused on getting money to the hands of people trying to take care of this disease. She’s been nominated for awards, has raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for this cause, and yet remains one of the most humble and modest friends I have in this world. She is a quiet, gentle soul who is always smiling and calm up front but pedaling like mad in the back to make everything seamless.

She has created an event that allows the people to come see Olympic athletes in a tender and beautiful way, not only poignant but also totally accessible for even the most modest of incomes. These skaters donate their time (!! Come on, how often do you get to see that!) and many dedicate their skate to someone they love who has been touched by cancer. Not only are there stunning athletes, but Carolyn has been gracious enough to allow little skaters from across Ohio to enter the show. These little girls have no idea what a gift this really is – I’m sure to most of them it is a chance to display their talents or meet someone cool they’ve seen on TV. What they are really getting is hope. The hope and prayers of everyone attending that they will stay strong and healthy for the rest of their lives without ever having to worry about cancer.

I pray that all those little ones have no worries in their future beyond a Lutz and an Axel. I pray that as they participate in this show, their parents can look at them and instill just a portion of what Carolyn is trying to teach us all: that we are bigger than any show or any presentation. We are here to help each other, to care for one another, to build each other up. Life is far too short to be worried about anything other than being the nicest person in the room. And that if you are going to do anything in this world, be it a big production or just a little task, that we do it for all the right reasons.

Select * from life.time where text = “enough”

FORT WAYNE, INDIANA - When executed, that query will return “never”, just so you know. No matter how you set your variables. I was thinking last week about how I don’t have enough time, and how interesting it might be for me to do a database query on my time. After thinking for about a nanosecond, of course, I realized that I never want to know that information. I would like to say that I will keep working on the valuable bits of my time, if possible. Enhance and expand the good stuff. I was with my children last Saturday and we waited in a pretty long line for balloons, for example. If you have kids, you know that those balloons will typically last about 2.3 minutes, or until you get to the car, whichever comes first. If you have an obsessive child, however, you know they last much longer.

Anyway, so we are waiting in this line and I kept thinking about the mounds (and by mounds I mean Easter Island statue sized mounds) of laundry waiting at home. Dinner has to be prepared, and I don’t even have the ingredients yet. What’s left of the vegetable and flowers we started from seed need to be planted. What’s left after the new puppy found them, I mean. He’s particularly fond of the ones that seem to be the best growers. Naturally. So my check list, my database of unaddressed items, if you will, runs through my head endlessly.

We inch to the front of the line, and the kids are within 6 feet of the man making the balloons. I know for a fact it is six feet, because I am gauging the distance and I know I would fit exactly; my frustration has now rendered me exhausted. Maybe I can take a quick snooze while the kids are outfitted with rubber-and-air renditions of swords, scabbards and flowers. While I eyeball the floor to see if it might be comfy enough for me to lay down on, I am interrupted by one of my daughters. She is so excited she is shaking, delighted with the expectation of a rubber flower. She is so happy that this is happening that she can’t even speak. She just comes over to me and takes both of her hands in mine, and just smiles. A big, happy, nothing else matters right now kind of smile.

So yep, I don’t have enough time. My house will never be clean enough, my plants will always need to be weeded, there will always be dinners unprepared. But I can promise you this, gentle readers, I will always and forever do my utmost to make sure those little balloon moments happen for my family. And then I will try to remember them, as they are so much more important.