Tuesday, May 11, 2010


SHIPSHEWANA, INDIANA -   "Take a picture of my pretty ring, mommy!" said my sweet daughter. I obliged, happily. The kids and I stopped off to visit Sarah Davis in Shipshewana for a quick shopping spree before we headed home after a parade recently, and she fell in love with this sparkler of a bauble. I love her little hand, I spend a great deal of time looking at the hands of all of my children.   

I do so mostly because my children are just stunning to me, so beautiful that it takes my breath away (even the boy, even though I have been told repeatedly that I shouldn’t call him beautiful). I also look to see that they don’t look like me. That sounds a bit strange, doesn’t it? When someone says 'oh, you look just like your mommy' to one of my little ones, my heart just stops. I try not to let anyone see what I am feeling, but someday someone will pick up on it, I'm sure. No, please please please please don’t say that - they are not like me at all! 

In my family, cancer runs like blue eyes. If you are a girl, you have it. That’s why I scan my daughters every chance I can get. Oh, phew, she has her father's sense of humor, maybe she doesn’t have any of my traits. Thank heavens, she has green eyes (green, wow I didn’t even know they made eyes in that color) so surely she isn’t like me at all. I was so much taller than she is at her age, perhaps she will follow on her father's side, too. All of these things I seek because I don't want them to know the kind of gene pool they've inherited. Yes, I’ve been tested for the BRCA gene, no my tumor did not contain one of the known mutations. That doesn’t change the fact that the women in my family battle this disease, now does it?

So I look at my daughter's hand and thank God that it looks nothing at all like mine.  Hers is sweet and perfect and wonderful. Every day I go to work to get money for cancer research. I do this, dear friends, so that I never have to hold that hand while she gets chemo. If you are so inclined today, please consider donating for research. For all the little hands attached to sweet little girls that should never have to worry about their gene pool.

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